Why, just last night I went to the bathroom and when I came back my boyfriend had been abducted by slightly gay Nazi werewolf drug addicts. You just never know.

Terry Bellefleur gives Sookie a gun, because clearly what Sookie's crazy ass needs is a gun. Does she know how to use it? "I ain't that blond!" she says, checking the chamber and shoving it into her waistband. "...I've always liked you," he says after a moment, "And I'd miss you if you got killed." She kisses his beautiful cheek, and takes off to wreak some other kind of damned havoc.

So the deal with the old Mickens folks is that Melinda was sixteen when Sam was born, and Joe Lee was doing twelve ("For a crime I didn't commit!"), so she ended up giving Sam away before telling him about the pregnancy. He finally got out, and they had Tommy. She tells the usual justification you don't ever want to hear them say -- "Merlottes seemed like good people. They had money, and a big house. They said they could give you a better life. Did they? Did you have a good life, Sam?" -- and Sam says that yeah, until he was fifteen, and then he turned into Wishbone.

"Was that the real reason you gave me away? Because of what I am?" No. I mean, yes, Melinda's a shifter and Joe Lee isn't -- what Melinda, sort of heartbreakingly, refers to as "regular" -- so on the show that means there was a chance, but she did pray on it. Joe Lee, a non-shifter, tries to give Sam a speech he's no doubt given Tommy too, in his time. "What you are is special, son. You got something extra in you, you should be proud of that." Sam points out that also it sucked, and Melinda nods, saying that Joe Lee -- like Hoyt a few minutes ago -- will never really understand. They sort of sit with the idea that Sam had it rough in some unspecified way, and then Tommy makes a play for center stage, all about how he never knew he had a brother, and they get all trashy on each other, and Tommy takes off.

Ruby Jean, apparently, made Lafayette promise not to tell anybody she's been in the nuthouse for at least six months -- well before Season One of this show -- after he found her on the streets. Lafayette explains that he's -- in addition to Jason's road crew and Merlotte's -- a drug dealer and prostitute and stripper and whatever else he does because he needs to pay for Ruby Jean's care. "Only reason why I'm paying's because I hate her raggedy ass so much I don't wanna take care of her my goddamn self." Tara sees through that, since he could easily have left her to the state, but this is not about Ruby Jean. This is about Tara, who might end up like her.