Jessica calls the imaginatively named Bon Temps Hardware to see about purchasing a chainsaw so she can cut up the man she killed, but they are too expensive, so she asks to rent one, and the cost is much lower. "Awesomethanks," she breathes and hangs up, and takes what money's left out of his pocket, noticing as she does so the wallet picture of him with his tow-headed son. Guilt and whatever, but the dude was grosssssss.

"Chilled, carbonated blood. It's cruelty-free, all willingly donated. Note the citrusy finish? This one ate only tangerines for weeks." Russell and Bill sort of stiff-lippedly consider each other for awhile, and Bill makes some not-so-veiled threats on the Queen's behalf, but Russell finally makes his offer: Bill, as Sheriff of Mississippi Area II: "The world's only cactus plantation!" (Still not sure how the Areas work exactly, given that there are like five levels of vampire government that barely make sense in the books alone, and that's without the Magister weirding everybody out, but that would make him Eric's equal on at least a state-by-state level.)

"You didn't kidnap me and drag me across state lines just to offer me a job," Bill says, and Russell says not only is he too hung up on the American kingdoms, but that "those lines will soon cease to exist." Meaning, Bill assumes, that Mississippi plans war on post-Katrina Louisiana, but Russell assures him that waging war against Sophie-Anne is too barbaric and medieval for his tastes. With barely a glance, Talbot knows to excuse himself to drain the second course. ("Carlo, bring me that Thai boy!")

In fact, Russell says -- with a glance at the door as though they are not all vampires and thus have super-hearing -- he plans to marry Sophie-Anne. Bill nearly laughs, because she's practically gay and Russell and Talbot may well have invented the concept, but Russell assures Bill that Sophie-Anne will change her mind. With Bill's help, of course. Because what the Queen needs is rational argument from a solid, down-to-earth fella like Bill Compton. That's what she responds to: Good old logic and common sense.