True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Consequences Of Falling

Everybody is growling! Bill tears the ear off one of the wolves, and its formerly attached human starts whining how they do, and then he turns his attentions to Coot. Don't hurt Coot! Just be satisfied with the naked werewolf bodies everywhere! You can look at that formerly attached leg shooting blood and know that somewhere, Sookie is saying your name over and over and over to anybody that will listen.

Bill's about to get into it with the Coot wolf, but then a toff rides up in foxhunting clothes, and the music is like, "Are you kidding me?" The wolf and Bill both get very uptight, and Bill vampzooms into a deep bow, so this dude -- "Your Majesty," apparently -- must be very important. The King of Mississippi himself, Russell Edgington, who is in the books sort of adorable but on this show, very scary. Coot is very upset about Bill killing all the wolves and Louie's ear, and also very, very naked.

Bill makes fun of Cooter's name, and Coot gets all uppity, but Russell is very bossy with him, and he calms down. Apparently Bill was meant to be kidnapped, but not fed on and certainly not gay-orgied during the ride over. Coot's something of an improviser. Bill's shocked and weirded out that King Mississippi is using werewolves to do his bidding, because Louisiana is classier than that. Although, as we'll see, Queen Sophie-Anne has nothing on King Russell as far as half-naked gay dudes running all over the place.

Russell apologizes for the whole road-head scenario, and the subsequent orgy of death out in the middle of nowhere, and Bill tattles about how they drank his blood, and Russell gets very steely for a moment before blowing poor earless Louie's head clean off with a pistol. He asks Bill to get on his horse with him, and then clarifies that it was an order, and then Bill climbs on and puts his arms around the King of Louisiana, and they ride off into the sunrise together. Russell is already more of a gentleman than anybody else on this show besides maybe Terry Bellefleur, and that includes the naked earless man he just executed, so I can see Bill's process here.

Meanwhile, Tara is gobbling those suicide pills for all she's worth, until Lafayette busts the door down and makes her puke. Also making Lafayette puke? Her momma and the constant evocation of Jesus that always bothers him so much. "You're too busy praising Jesus to realize your daughter's trying to move in with him." Lafayette, who has more Jesus stuff around his house than the entire movie Romeo + Juliet, is very funny about his relationship with Jesus. This is because he doesn't know how hot Jesus can be yet.

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True Blood




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