True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Consequences Of Falling

Eric makes like he's leaving, after all that enigmatic (even for him) this-and-that, but he's not leaving: Sookie's going to invite him in. "So I can protect you. Or have passionate primal sex with you. How about both?" Sookie, hilariously, instructs him not to try and distract her with nasty talk, and he smirks that he already has, but then there's her engagement ring right there on her finger, and he's like "Dang."

Warm blood bisque infused with rose petals is the next dish in Mississippi, and Russell's waxing on about the natural gas resources in Louisiana, the music, the general excitement of stretching beyond one's borders. Not to mention Sophie-Anne, whom he characterizes as a "delightful eccentric" before Talbot rudely compares her madness to that of "a monkey on a trike." Russell gives Talbot a tiny little smackdown about saying everything we think, and goes on. "For a number of reasons, she's incapable of managing her Queendom." If he knows about the money, then, wouldn't he also be able to figure out the V scheme? And why did this show make her so sucky and weird?

Take Bill: One of the most promising young vamps in the US, and she sends him to Bon Temps. Bill gets verrrry nervous about that characterization of his mission, and assures Russell that it wasn't an edict: "Bon Temps... Was my home before I was made. After the Great Revelation, I chose to go there to mainstream." Russell's not buying. "She'd allow you to move to a tiny town in the middle of a swamp? And date a waitress? I know you're still working for her, and I know she has secrets, and I wanna know what they are. In return, I'll make you Sheriff of Area II."

Bill, and this is an oh snap triumph for Bill Compton, suggests that Russell's got werewolves collecting his intelligence, too. He's not the droids you're looking for, he doesn't know the Queen's secrets, and additionally, fuck being the Anything of Area II. Russell, sensing real stubbornness, subtly threatens Sookie. Bad move! Out come old Bill's pearly white choppers, and Russell tells him to put those fuckers away, with a totally scary game-face snarl of his own, and Bill nearly whines when he finally snaps his back in.

Lafayette has dragged Tara to Merlotte's, even though she's not working tonight, so that he can keep an eye on her. Meanwhile, Terry's giving the continuously vomiting Arlene a list of Ten Reasons Why You Can Trust Me With Your Kids, having decided that she's feeling the pressure of single motherhood and doesn't want to add his shellshocked crazy on top of it.

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True Blood




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