True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Consequences Of Falling

Blood gelato, for dessert. Russell explains that, regardless of what Bill says, it's clear that Sookie is right up in the middle of his shit. He killed Longshadow, he honestly loves her, he'd take down a regent if he had to, for her. Russell finds this somewhat romantic, but you know who doesn't? Fucking Lorena, who appears in a riding outfit complete with crop, and almost completes a sentence about Bill's delusions of humanity before he... Picks up an oil lamp from the mantel and, um, totally sets her ass on fire. Like she goes whirling and screaming into the foyer, totally on fire, and everybody's like, "Damn."

Moms are fucking getting it this week, aren't they? It was a cute outfit, too.

Eric makes a gentle sort of fun of Bill and Sookie and how queer they constantly are, and Sookie's not feeling that, but she's not interested in letting him inside either. She'd rather listen to him be all petty and silly about marriage and whatever -- even the digs about how she'll get old and die and Bill will be just this boring and elderly-acting forever and ever -- than invite him in, because who knows what would happen next? "One minute you lie to me, the next minute you ask me to trust you. You do something generous and selfless, and then you follow that up with something nasty or downright cruel."

Eric hears something, and asks suddenly and intensely for an invitation, shoving her up against the door, hand at her gullet. "Invite me in," he says, and she whines that he's being rude, but he fangs at her and something in his eyes changes her mind. "Mr. Northman, will you please come in?" she whispers -- she's so funny even when it's serious, I love her -- and he goes inside, where there's a wolf waiting. Eric and the wolf rush at each other, and clearly there is going to be yet another murder in Sookie's house in about a minute, but first Sookie fires her gun into the middle of things, and the screen goes black.

Next week: Talbot gets the Lorena marks out of the foyer's marble, Tommy keeps fighting Sam for his creepy fucking family, Jessica's corpse-baby gets found, the weirdest sex that has ever happened on this show, Alcide finally shows up, a way-cheesy were bar, and... The second-weirdest sex that has ever happened on this show.

Check out this interview with Joe Manganiello, a.k.a. Alcide on True Blood.

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True Blood




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