True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
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Consequences Of Falling

Tara is still not into the hospital, even as Lafayette is driving her there, but her reasoning is actually really sound, and takes the form of the following syllogism: 1) She barfed up everything already, so there's no need for a pump; 2) They are going to pump her full of drugs on suicide watch and get her to tell them the truth; 3) The truth will cause them to lock her up forever, because here's the truth:

After my exorcism by a gnarled boxcar hobo/hedge witch in which I stabbed a little girl, I donned my old prom dress and nearly ran over a naked woman with dinosaur claws who -- when she wasn't deflowering shapeshifters -- occasionally sported the head of a bull. Thence, I was made privy to an ongoing social worker/carny-style intervention which included a porcine manservant, magical feasts in a huge imaginary mansion, and Domestic Violence Stew made from the heart of a girl who was sometimes a fawn. Eventually, I attained the level of High Priestess in an orgiastic cult dedicated to bringing about the incarnate return of the God Dionysus, which office I shared with my boyfriend, a zombie serial killer and avid blues guitarist. I was also in charge of carrying the giant egg.

(I will never understand people who complain about the Maryann storyline moving too slow. That shit was intense!) Lafayette agrees, but wants Tara to think about how Eggs would want her to live. Eggs, she points out, doesn't want shit. In addition, the one time in her entire life she thought she was happy -- this one hurt -- she was "a fucking zombie." So does that mean she's just broken, factory defective? Lafayette, who knows from having the deck stacked against you, points out that life is less about having problems, and more about dealing with the ones you've got. He promises to, if he must, "drag [her] narrow ass through this world kicking and screaming," and reminds her (in a radical and sort of missing-the-point reinterpretation of the text) that the Buddha said life is suffering. "Don't mean you get to check out early and leave me here." He decides to feed her, and then show her something even scarier than Maryann before her coffee.

Sookie offers to stay with Jessica at Bill's, but it's sweet: "I feel weird leaving you all alone," she says, as though it's not entirely for her own benefit. Jessica's going to be dead in a few hours, and then it'll just be Sookie alone in her fiancé's bed, less scared and alone. Jessica points out that she doesn't need a babysitter, but before she can finish saying it Hoyt appears from the shadows with a clinking bag of TruBloods. Sookie gets it, and tries to be Cool Stepmom, but asks Jessica to be gentle with Hoyt (for all she knows, Jessica was crying about him earlier tonight, and clearly he's here to apologize, so it's really just girl talk) and Jessica promises to call Sookie if anything happens w/r/t Bill, either factually or intuitively.

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True Blood

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