True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
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Consequences Of Falling

"God killed you too," Ruby Jean says quietly, questioningly. Tara nods: "Almost."

Best show on TV. My God. I thought Jessica climbing in bed with her dead guy was going to be the most amazing scene of this episode, but damn.

Jason shows up at Andy's press conference outside the police station -- "...In addition to being stabbed, the victims were also clawed by an animal. What kind of animal was that?" We're not sure if the suspect trained the animal... -- and Andy escorts him away again, toward the car. Jason's all tore up because now Sookie's blaming herself for Eggs and all, and he just can't stand it. (Jason Stackhouse is like a living Monopoly board: All he wants to do is go to jail all the time. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.) Andy takes Jason the fuck up out of there for Second Lunch, because drunk Jason is a horny Jason is a happy Jason, and maybe also because Andy himself is so adorable -- and given the nose, it's not surprising -- that he qualifies for Honorary Hobbit.

Terry wonders if the werewolf biker won't come looking for his clothes, and Sookie assures him that the werewolf will be coming not only for his gay boots and leather gear, but also her entire face. This is not a problem because she is a lunatic. (And again, soooo much cooler when Bill's not around; it goes both ways.) Terry, like Jason before him, wants to call Andy but Sookie assures him she's got her own Sheriff, not to mention vampire, on the case. Terry's not loving the vampire thing, but is strangely mute about the existence of werewolves, to which Sookie has needlessly alerted him -- which Sookie assures him is very necessary, despite his protests. Because imagine if you just went around telling everybody you ran into about the existence of werewolves, Sookie.

"I think you're a lot better at things than you give yourself credit for," Sookie patronizes him, and Arlene comes busting in with a bin full of dishes, having been calling for help for a good while now. Before Sookie can alert her to the existence of werewolves she comes in all like an atomic bomb before the sunset -- "No, I can do it all by myself. Just like I do everything else!" -- and Terry's like, "RE: My competence, could you alert Arlene to the existence of that?" Sookie condescends some more and tells him sure, but that we're better off telling people how we feel, because everything is about her.

Why, just last night I went to the bathroom and when I came back my boyfriend had been abducted by slightly gay Nazi werewolf drug addicts. You just never know.

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True Blood

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