Sookie & Lafayette: "It feels psychically weird outside this Emporium. And quiet."
Jesus: "Antonia must have cast a spell on the neighborhood that made people want to hang out other places."
Jason: "That explains why I want to hang out other places so bad. I just thought I was scared."
Them: "Can you hear Tara in there? She'll be thinking the loudest and the angriest."
Sookie: "Got 'er. And yeah, she's pissed."
Jason: "That's like her whole personality! How funny."
Sookie: "I can also hear Antonia, and she seems like she's doing fine in there."
Jesus: "Okay, but I'm still going to do my plan. BRB."
Jason: "I will come with you. Facing my fears is manly."
Jesus: "No, honey."
Jason: "But..."
Sookie: "Jason, you're the only one that's not magic..."
Jason: Hurt; yelps.
Jesus walks toward the Emporium and gets felled by the burny spell; Antonia comes out to say hey. Inside, the stupid fucking witches -- and I am still not making this shit up -- fully run forward and burn their shit on the door. Again.
Jesus: "Hey, Antonia! Nice burny-wall. You are really powerful. And pretty!"
Antonia, preening: "This old thing? A simple protection spell."
Jesus: "Hey, is Marnie in there?"
Antonia: "My name is Antonia Gavilán de Logroño!"
Jesus: "Jesus, I know. Sorry."
Marnie: "Because I hate myself and would prefer to just be one person that's mostly her, you get me?"
Jesus: "Can I come in? Marnie and I were/are close."
Antonia: "I am way closer to her than you are, first of all, and second of all where've you been? She's been worried sick."
Jesus: "I was in Mexico for no reasonable or discernible purpose. Sorry!"
Antonia: "It's cool. But just for my peace of mind -- ha, that's a joke because I'm an insane lunatic -- would you mind pushing your way through this burny-wall until your skin burns off and you're just bones?"
Jesus: "...No prob."
His head turns demon halfway through and Lafayette's just like, I don't feel like talking about that right now.
MARCUS & DEBBIE
Slide on into their inevitable bullshit, with Marcusssss talking that excruciating way he talkssss and all "your wolf ain't got your best interestssss in mind and you need to get with another wolf" and Debbie all, "I am so high right now that you actually look attractive" and whatever, just do it already. I'll take Alcide any way I can get him, but happy and useful would be nice for once.













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