Eric: "I see your point. Back to us, though, what is the problem?"
Sookie: "Well, I also seem to still be a little bit in love with Bill. Monarchy missions and shifting allegiances aside, he's still the safer choice. Mainly just by being boring."
Eric: "Since I suddenly believe in True Love, how can you Love us both Truly?"
Sookie: "I think it's because I drank both your blood. Took me and my brother a second to remember that part, I guess."
Eric: "You gave yourself to me completely! You are Mine!"
Sookie: "I never promised that. And you gave yourself to me completely too."
Eric: "I guess we are in love. A Rookie kind of love. And also stupid Bill."
Sookie: "Listen, however many boyfriends it takes to keep Queen Mab, Debbie Pelt and the entire vampire population off my ass, that's how many boyfriends I'm gonna need."
Pam: "-- Shut up, it's about me now! HOORAY YOU ARE BACK!"
Eric: "It's nice to see you too, but we were kind of in the middle of..."
Pam: "I was going to kill witches! I made you this card! I glued macaroni to it!"
Eric: "Awesome, but actually I..."
Pam: "How did you break the curse? Through your sheer awesomeness?"
Eric: "It was Sookie, actually..."
Pam: Death glare.
Sookie: "Pam! You look really pretty. Are you still rotting?"
Pam: "I DON'T FUCKING NEED A STEPMOTHER. AND I WON'T CALL YOU MOM."
Bill: "The plan is to blow up MoonGoddess, since we don't know about how you have to burn a necromancer in a certain order of body parts."
Nan: "That's not a 21st century solution! You're fucking our whole agenda up the ass!"
21st century warfare is about becoming the enemy, recognizing no fundamental differences in your ideologies, seeing only the crinkly edges of complexity. From where we're standing, you can see how dumb the whole conflict is: The coincidences and agendas akimbo and perpendicular, pretending they're allied; the way the sacrifices of Us are always so much scarier than those by Them. The way our asymmetrical response is always justified.