True Blood
Don’t You Feel Me?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 117 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Soft Breath, Beating Heart

BANKSIDE

Lafayette is getting the vampire part of Ben's backstory -- not the Fae part, because it's too complicated -- when Bill, assured of Sookie's safety, summons him back. It's even uglier and more immediate than with Jessica, and he starts projectile-vomiting blood instantly.

Sookie: "You've saved my life twice, I'm not letting you go back to your mommy. Let me teleport you to some faerie place or another."
Lala: "Do what? You can do that?"
Sookie: "Apparently I can do that."

CASTLE COMPTON

Bill: "Hey Jessica? I know it's kind of a weird topic, but when I summoned you so hard that time, how bad was it? Like, did you almost die? Or really almost die? Or was it more like the rip-your-shirt-open kind of dying?"

But she's gone. And Ben's gone. All his babies are gone. And not only that, but everybody's in custody of the LAVTF (he psychics). He calls out to Lilith for a quick conference and the music goes very heavy, but then... Nothing. He makes that exasperated "augh" noise he makes every now and then, and I guess then he probably just starts whining either way.

LAVTF RECRUITMENT

Recruiter: "Jason Stackhouse?"
Jason, lol: "The one and only."

He gives the guy a huge speech about "fucking fangers up" and how excited he is to be a racist and shoot people, and the guy is just unimpressed until Jason gives him the chapter and verse from Fellowship Bootcamp. Then, of course, he falls in redneck love.

Recruiter: "How many would you say you've killed?"
Jason: "Uh, this week?"

Jason's very sad to be associating with slash impressing racists, but you gotta use what you've got.

COMPTON LABS

Bill: "Hey, I've got a super weird plan!"
Takahashi: "I cannot stand you, or your bullshit. Just puttin' that out there."
Bill, glamouring: "So here's my weird nutty plan. You will drain all of the blood out of my meatsack body, until I am just nothing and in a coma. That's step one."
Takahashi: "You're being so weird I can only talk in Japanese right now."
Bill: "Step two, after a given amount of time, you will put all my dumb blood back in my stupid body and I will wake up like nothing happened."
Takahashi: "What on Earth is the point of this nonsense."
Bill: "Step one point five, I am astrally projected into a strange no-space dimension beyond all time or reckoning, where I chill out with God and people can turn into clouds of red mist whenever they feel like it. Because if She's not taking my calls, the next best thing is probably to storm Her hideout."

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True Blood

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