True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Sex On Fire

"I don't think we can afford the time it would take to sedate you. Besides, without knowing what other substances you've taken, I don't want to risk a drug interaction." Who watches the watchers? He's the king of this world, and without Jason telling him the truth he can't begin to tell him about the horrors of V. He's just another dumb stud, like Tara said. It's important to enjoy your job. Jason begins to moan with fear, and she starts coaching him in breathing through it. They aspirate through the aspiration, hilariously, and he counts down; the doctor, of course, sticks it in just before he gets to "one." Jason's scream echo across the entire country, to like where even dogs could hear it.

At this point in time, Sam's cleaning glasses and looking sadly at a picture pinned to the bar. Arlene feels silly asking him to walk her to her car, but he tells her not to. "Not with what's been going on." And pregnant Arlene, still thinking sex earns you misfortune, that it has a morality and agenda, that if you sleep with the wrong kind of people -- which is to say, the people that Arlene thinks you shouldn't have sex with -- you deserve what you get. So she feels silly for being afraid of the serial killer on the loose, because he won't attack her, because she never fucked a vampire and thus doesn't deserve it. "Can't be too safe, you know?" Sam knows. The music gets scary as he puts an extra pair of gloves in his pocket and turns off the lights over the bar. The picture: Dawn and Sam, grinning wildly.

I am ... so sure Sam killed those girls. I mean, it's a good story: fuck a vampire, Sam kills you/Sam's in love with Sookie/Sookie's dating a vampire. Except that A) Sam is totally adorable and needs to be on the show forever, B) Sam's sex stuff is completely different from this person's MO, but most importantly C) Dawn was not only his friend, but also his employee and tenant. He'd be cutting himself off from revenue both professionally and personally if he killed her. I know Merlotte's is doing well enough that he can afford to hire and fire crazy women at will, but you don't want to leave yourself short-handed. Plus, if he kills Sookie next, it will just be him, Lafayette and Big John against his least reliable employees, Arlene and Tara, who are also the two biggest bitches in the entire parish. Self-preservation, Sam: a huge priority for most serial killers.

Boy: (How come no one fucked me? I got a dog collar too...) Yeah, but you look like Clay Aiken.

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True Blood

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