True Blood
Everybody Wants To Rule The World

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Uncle Ruckus Gets A Puppy

Martha: "This screaming I'm doing means I do not like it very much!"
JD: "Russell, please do not give my granddaughter to Steve Newlin as a pet. For many reasons."

Russell's Viking accent comes out and he nearly kills JD for whining, but then sadly he does not. JD lives. Steve gets the kid. Martha screams and screams. Werewolves are the worst!

HERVEAUX SR

See, like for example this is Alcide's dad: Sitting in a trailer park trailer watching the races -- always with the races -- with a beer on his belly and just doing his best possible Mickens impression, when Alcide shows up.

Alcide: "You bet your whole disability check on this race? God, you're fucking gross. Anyway, I got abjured out of the Shreveport Pack at some point that wasn't on the show."
Herveaux: "So you're a lone wolf now, just like your old man."

Is that a metaphor or yet another stupid thing werewolves say? Who knows. Who cares, except that Alcide's dad was a pretty awesome part of the books when he made the rare appearance, and if it means we don't have to deal with Quinn's bullshit I'll happily let them drag out Sookie's stuff with Alcide forever and ever. Herveaux could be how.

SOOKIE

TV: "Japan and Kuwait factories are down, and Steve Newlin of the AVL said some nationalistic crap..."
Claude: "Hey Sookie. We just let ourselves in."
Sookie: "I'm cool with letting you do whatever you want. I had kind of a rough day and I'm still stoned. Are these more of your sisters?"
Sisters: "We're Claudette and Claudija! A real name a person would have!"
Sookie: "It's nice to meet yet more cousins, and always nice to get a look at you Claude, but what is it that y'all are doing in my living room in the middle of the night?"
Claude: "We brought you some soup, Sookie. Soups for the soup! Soup FUBU!"

Cutely, they shove her over on the couch for some fairy-cousin snugglin' -- actually a wonderful thing about the books that I hope comes into the show is how much the faerie cousins are into hugging her all the time and having constant sleepovers; it's actually quite nice, after a long day of marathon sex with the Gracious Plenty* of her million boyfriends, to just ice down your Yahoo Palace*, climb into a pile of cousins, and get some freakin' rest -- but then less cutely the faeries are like, "Oh, did we not mention? This is the vampires taking over the world. This is how it starts."

*(I did not make up these words. Because I am not a lunatic.)

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