There is some Franklin romance -- "Your heart is beating so fast! I want to feel it stop!" -- and then who should appear but Mr. Jason Stackhouse, trusty gun in hand. They face off for awhile and Tara smartly keeps her trap shut, and then before you know it Jason has blown Franklin into a big old soppy mess, because he was packing his FoS wood-tipped bullets the whole time. Thirty years later, he's still protecting her when it counts.

Sookie's been calling Bill for hours, and now it's nearly midnight, and it's not like he's a full calendar of stuff to do, but honestly he can't account for his time in the Garden. "You mean you overslept?" He tries to tell her about what he just learned, but of course the one time he's being honest and actually trying to tell her something, she is off on a whole tangent. Was he visiting the Queen of Louisiana? And if so, why? And how do they know each other? And what about Hadley and Russell? And is there a fatwa on Garden people suddenly or is Hadley just being paranoid? And why won't Sookie shut up? Finally she does, and Bill's like, "I went to a crazy place, I don't know how but probably it's from that time I murdered you a couple of days ago, I don't know if you remember that, but anyway I went to a place and here's the kicker: I actually know what you are."

Tune in next week for that revelation. Meanwhile, Nan's eating the femoral artery, among other things, of a sexy young lady in the limo -- "Oh, Miss Flanagan!" gasps the enraptured fangbanger, hilariously -- on the way to the airport for her Portland speech, when something catches her eye on the TV. What is it? Oh, just Russell eating his way through a news station on live TV, plunging his hand through the back of the on-camera talent and coming away with his spine, before delivering a super scary, super wonderful, super amazing, game-changing, politically combustible rant. He comes off about half scary, half like a kooky crank, and 100% awesome.