True Blood
Everything Is Broken

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A
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Mr. Edgington Goes To Washington

The Feds come back to Fangtasia!, where Russell is unbeknownst to anybody hanging out on the roof and fully discussing the issues of the day with a giant candy jar full of Talbot's guts. Oh, girl! He cries and actually turns the candy jar so it can better see them. "Look. The American Vampire League protects your murderer. Perhaps they even sent him!" He swears a few times they'll suffer for this made-up insult and then zooms away.

Nan wonders what that whooshing-gay-vampire sound was, and heads inside to deliver the Authority's ruling to Eric, who looks like shit of course. "I feel fantastic," he grumbles snottily, and she doesn't even high-five him. Here's the ruling: They never had the interview, he never gave the statement, and also what she's saying right now never happened. None of it did. No missing Kings or Queens, no dead Magisters. "It's a political tarbaby, no one wants to touch it. Not with the VRA this close to ratification."

Nan's ready to go, but Eric points out that Russell is going to keep killing everybody because he has gone bonkers, and she says that Eric's job is to do what he was going to do anyway: Kill Russell, fix the problem, without help. Eric complains that Russell's three times his age and three times as powerful, and Nan goes off. "Listen, you whiny little bitch. The only link between Sophie-Anne, Russell and the Magister is you. You brought us this steaming pile of shit and you're going to make it go away. Bring me his fangs, or I will have yours." Never thought I'd see the day where I would actually applaud somebody calling Eric a whiny little bitch, but enough's enough.

Calvin shows up at Merlotte's looking for Crystal, who is now in three different kinds of Hotshot trouble, but of course Jason just thinks he's got to defend his lady from her dad. Meanwhile Cal's not interested in Jason at all because he's too busy calling Crystal a two-faced whore. There is a bit of a fight, so Sam appears, and Cal calls him a liar for saying Crystal hadn't been there, and then a pussy for lying about it. A little bell goes "ding!" and Sam commences hammering the shit out of Calvin Norris until he is just a twitching pile of denim and bleeding.

Tommy loves it, Tara's freaked out but sort of feeling him, and eventually Jason and Hoyt pull Sam off Cal. There's blood everywhere. Tommy is deeeeelighted by this, because that's the brother he wanted. His eyes are just a-sparkle. Jesus gets Cal into his van and calls somebody at the hospital, and Lafayette drives them. Crystal comes screaming out into the parking lot because she wants to go with, but Jason has no idea why she would want to make sure her dad is okay. Jason says that Hotshot is continuing to control her, like has been done her whole life, and she says that the list of people who are not allowed to control her also includes Jason. She shoves him off and they go driving away.

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True Blood

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