True Blood
Everything Is Broken

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Mr. Edgington Goes To Washington

Drunk full on a terrified psychic knowingness, Russell zips into his compound and shoves his way into the trophy room where his first trophy wife is now a puddle of guts. It's sort of heartbreaking to watch him scream and pull on the guts. It's even more heartbreaking to have confirmation that Talbot was only ever an outdated faggy Birdcage joke, decorating in gross Hollywood Regency and throwing tantrums and piercing the toast and sluttin' around and acting like the brainless tween housecat power-bottom everybody already thinks we all are.

(I mean, I never doubted that for a second but there was hope, and now there's no hope. But there's also no Talbot, so cheerio. At least you got Lafayette and Jesus being realistic homosexuals; maybe this is all a generational thing I don't know, but I sure did hate it and I sure am glad we'll never have to deal with Talbot again. Unless his ghost shows up and starts hurling objets around or something.)

Anyway, boo hoo, Talbot's dead and Russell is busy coating himself in leftovers. He looks up and sees the trophy cabinet has been messed with, an Eric-sized hole in the screen right where the Viking crown was, and then I guess he remembers every time Eric was totally obvious and weird about the Viking crown and how Eric is a Viking and how he killed that one family that time that were Vikings and maybe there's a connection, and so the whole mystery about Eric and revenge just sort of ends right there and Russell realizes that Eric killed Talbot instead of doing it with him and doesn't even stop to question why somebody would do that.

Sookie's covered in blood, which is nothing new, but it's crazy that apparently she let Bill bite her while they were fucking before. He grabs her neck from outside the frame and they make out sort of, and then he pricks his finger on his teeth and rubs the blood on her bite marks and they go away -- thinking of that earlier would have really cut down on Sookie's scarf budget, Bill -- and then they make out. I have officially hit the wall where I now know what Sookie's breasts look like and it's not even exciting anymore. If they committed a crime on me I could describe them to a sketch artist. Anyhow his body is full of her magical blood and her body is full of his regular vampire blood and now it's washing down off their bodies and circling the drain. Carrie? Psycho? All I know is, they are fooling themselves.

Sookie heads out into the living room in her nightgown and house shoes and there's a dead naked werewolf in the parlor, so they clean it up and talk about how there's always dead bodies in her house. It's true, nine times out of ten there are going to be bodies in her house. They talk about how normal couples don't have dead bodies in the house (or in the bed having sex for that matter) but how Sookie has once again gotten over her need to be normal, and so let's think of dead bodies as fun/annoying ways to show we're different from all the other couples. Like veganism, or collecting vinyl.

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True Blood

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