True Blood
Everything Is Broken

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Mr. Edgington Goes To Washington

Crystal has Felton all hogtied and she jokes that it's because she's a former rodeo champ and of course Jason believes her. He calls the police dispatcher with a funny voice and tells them Felton's a tied-up drug dealer with V in his pocket, and they get the heck out of there.

Morning. Between the many rounds of sex and the insane person in the house with them, Jesus didn't get much sleep last night, which is a bummer -- if sort of a romantic bummer -- because now he's got a twelve-hour shift. Ruby Jean's in the bathroom putting on all of Lafayette's makeup and getting as weird as possible for the trip. She comes out with a sweet smile and praises Lala's extensive selection: "Can't nothing hurt me when I got on my warpaint," she says, meaning that she's ready to face Jesus and head back home to the hospital. Coming closer, she sees something different in her son. "You ain't got your mask on." He thinks she means the makeup; he's not wrong but he's not right either. "I see you. My son is shining through." And was it Jesus that did that for him? They smile and duck their heads. "I'll be damned. Maybe God loves fags."

Jesus grins and they are super sweet and tells her they have to hurry, since it's Ruby Jean's self-selected duty to "bless the Jell-O" before meals. Lafayette takes one of his rings off her finger and kisses his mother goodbye. She tells him to come visit, sweetly, and he grins. "All right, Miss Lady. Eat your vegetables." Then Jesus and Lafayette are smoldering and delightful some more.

Jason takes his drug-dealing girlfriend on over to the police station, which is dumb on every level, but Andy can't even yell at him about continuing to pretend he is a cop, because Dispatcher Rosie is fuh-reaking out and it's real loud and annoying. Apparently she dispatched moronic Kevin over to the tied-up man's location last night -- "I thought it was a crank, some moron called disguising his voice" -- and Kevin was ambushed and his windpipe was crushed. "Boy's impossible to understand as it is," Andy says, somewhat thankfully but also, Kevin is offensive. But Rosie sucks too, so maybe that's fine.

Anyway, Rosie's in love with Kevin, which grosses Andy out, although he's pretty upset too. Crystal and Jason stress about how they got Kevin's windpipe crushed, and Jason runs in there to try and assuage his guilt while Crystal comforts Rosie... Which means she's right there in the middle of building when Kenya walks through with T-Dub, Crystal's brother-cousin, which is why you shouldn't take Crystal to the police station in the first place. But I'm not sure what it means, since Jason made it pretty clear to the entirety of Hotshot that Crystal was with him already, which is how Felton found him, so I guess this moment... Ah. The "snitch" that got Felton almost arrested.

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True Blood

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