True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2149 USERS: B-
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Be Quiet & Drive

Sam comes tearing through Merlotte's, slowing as he gets closer to the office because he already knows what's going to happen there: The safe, gone altogether, scraped deep into the floor. He screams Tommy's name and outside, Arlene's like, "Is Sam going to be an asshole again today?" Lafayette looks over and there's sexy old Rene with the accent, hands around her throat, grinning: "I'm inside her right now. She can't get rid of me." And while Arlene brightly says something else about Sam, the vision version of her goes, "This is hell. We're in hell!"

It's scary. Lafayette waves a spatula around at her, moaning in fear, and she takes off... Right into Terry Bellefleur, who doesn't want her working because of the baby fears. Meanwhile, Lafayette is on the payphone in the back hallway, freaking right out, finally admitting about the demon head issue with Jesus, also blood and ghosts, and how probably he is turning schizophrenic like Ruby Jean, which I guess is why he has called the health care professional of his closest acquaintance. Jesus says he's on his way. "My new boyfriend, a drug dealing prostitute, is having a schizoid break. Can I use my flex time? I should really go see him." Jesus has a great boss, if that's how it went down.

When Alcide drives up, Russell assumes that his wolves are coming to rescue him, but they're not. Ginger, irrelevantly, offers to make Sookie a peanut butter and butter sandwich, which is much funnier than it should be thanks to her eternal gonzo weirdness. Sookie is romantic and soft-lit, immediately, "How did you know to come for me?" She's sort of bummed when he explains it's an Eric thing, and he finally gets the vibe and starts flirting back. "You in trouble again?" And the requisite answer: "When am I not in trouble?" 4It's your retarded behavior, yo!

Later they catch up and flirt and talk about Janice (fine) and Debbie (vanished) and Alcide says he's been dreaming about her and they are super cute and sweet. She asks him to be less of a nice guy, and he says he cannot, and Russell laughs about how he's a werewolf nice guy, and basically just seems desperate to be involved. The vampires wake up and Alcide notes the total weirdness between Bill and Sookie, which Bill hates.

True Blood

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