But before you can even process that, Bill does a bunch of weird shit in a row. First (1) he holds out his hand to Eric Northman like they are going to be buddies, and then (2) he cuffs him with more silver handcuffs and throws him in a nearby cement situation, and Eric's like what and (3) Bill totally goes, "When fate presents one with such a grand opportunity, what else is one to do?" I dunno, Frasier, what is one to do? Anyway, he (4) starts the cement going on poor Eric and then he calls Eric's pet human assassin and (5) with Eric's voice tells this guy Ruben to go find Pam (6) and (7) kill her! I'm always impressed when people decide to make up for being boring by turning crazy. It seems to always happen in an instant.

Hoyt conducts Jessica, blindfolded -- "no using special vampire powers, either!" -- into the lovely new house he's rented. She loves it, and tries to be supportive of his new place, all wanting to help and advise him on paint and stuff, but she's not really getting it. So he says that of all the things he wants to do, the first thing is "building a totally tricked-out hidey-hole" for Jessica. So then she's like, "Oh, are we moving in together?" and he's like, "No, I want to marry you," and she reminds him that they can't get married and the VRA is not going to pass and he says that letting other people define your marriage is for suckers and he can just get ordained on the internet and do the job himself.

And just when you're ever so happy, three terrible things happen, the first two being dialogue and the third being a scary creepy doll on the floor that they haven't noticed yet: She goes, "I love you so much, I don't know what I'd do without you," which is like just asking for him to get murdered, and he goes, "Well, it's lucky for you you'll never have to find out," which is just like him offering to get murdered. So now Hoyt is going to get murdered, I guess, and then we are going to have ourselves a motherfucking problem.

And on that note, Steve Newlin has his own line of Vampire Hunter rifles and wooden bullets, and looks adorable in the marketing materials, and Maxine is buying one. So just to review, now there's three problems: Maxine has a vampire gun, there's a voodoo baby in the house, and they just said the magic incantation that gets you murdered.