True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: C-
Be Quiet & Drive

Tara complains that Sam didn't tell her about his powers before sleeping with her, which is A) Not really what she's complaining about and B) It wasn't the sex, it was the hoecakes. But really what she's saying is that he has accidentally tripped a wire because she has decided to define the world as Normal Things and Darkness, so she can stay whole for a little while longer, and he just brought darkness for no reason into her business. He tries to remind her that Franklin was a singularly bad bad guy, and that Sam himself is not a psychopath. The best part is when he reminds her of all the many terrible things that have happened to her that weren't supernatural in nature. Sam is really good at pep talks.

They change topic suddenly to how Tara wants to not know any of the things she knows or feel any of the things she feels and just be a whole new person. The shapeshifter who was once a jewel thief and murderer assures her that it's possible, especially for a genius like Tara, but that it will eventually always catch up, like the bull-headed MILF that took your v-card, which is why you just have to keep on moving.

Should they kill Russell or not? Eric can't kill Russell now, because of something imaginary Ghost Godric said, but to reveal that would be to ruin the big surprise at the end of the episode, so instead he just acts cagey and weird and refuses to answer direct questions. Pam is especially wonderful in this scene, telling Eric to stop fucking around and rip off his fucking head. Russell loses a fang and Eric takes it, for the Authority; when Sookie gets close to Russell he fangs up and she's like, "Don't even think about it, bitch." He says he can't stop thinking about it but that will mean something different later too.

They make Sookie babysit the King, all chained up, while they take their vampire naps. At first she is unhappy, but then she remembers that she hates all of their asses and decides to yell at them some more. "Go crawl back into your holes, you creepy cold freaks!" Eric calls Alcide, which is always a good idea, and then goes to bed. Sookie grabs a magazine and a crucifix and settles in to watch the King.

The guy from the DEA that's been called down for the raid has coined the awkward neologism "blood-demic," thank you Alan Ball, and will be tossing that around a little bit. Andy doesn't like the idea of this being an epidemic, since it reflects so poorly on him, but hot DEA guy has a point: "Well, this here's blood enough for about a hundred doses. That's a lot of hard-ons, enhanced athletic performance, and spontaneous healing of physical infirmities for a town of... How many?" 2712, last count. 2712 people in Bon Temps Louisiana. About half of them are magic and the other half are on drugs. Most of them are on magic drugs.

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True Blood




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