True Blood

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2538 USERS: B
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Never Jam Today

Lettie Mae stares, lip wobbling, and drops to the floor in prayer; her daughter weeps with rage, big fat tears running down her cheek: That was her last trick. Now it's up to Lettie Mae, and her silent God: "Save and deliver me from all those who pursue me, or they will tear at me like a lion," like love, like now, "And rip me to pieces, and there will be no one to rescue me..." That's what it was like; that's what her daughter's living now. She finds her answers in prayer. But her guides are gone.

"What was it like inside Tara's head?" Sookie explains that it was limitless: "Like anything could happen. And it probably will. And you can feel your insides expanding, but there's also this... This emptying out of everything right at the very center of your being, and you don't want that to ever stop. Ever." Sounds good. Lafayette agrees, with his eyes sighting down into the gathering night.

Lisa asks Sam about Arlene, while they eat their food. She's sick or something, is his best answer. "Is she blind?" Maybe, sometimes. "Is she gonna die?" No. Not unless we all are. Sam asks if she's gotten sick in front of them, and they matter-of-factly inform him that she's not sick, she's crazy. "She's always kissin' Terry and doin' other gross stuff when her eyes get weird." They ask for a doctor, and wonder if there isn't a higher power, even, they could appeal to. "Like a vampire. I bet a vampire would know what to do." Lisa asks for Vampire Bill, whom Sam assumes is still in Dallas, and Coby asks if he knows any other vampires. (Like maybe somebody he met at a Bar Owner's Association meeting, the concept of which had me rolling for the last ten minutes. "I move that we change last call to 6:15 AM. The current curfew is racist." The Chair does not recognize the member from Fangtasia!)

Sookie asks after Lafayette's leg, and he admits that Eric forced him to drink the thousand-year-old elixir of his blood. "Me too! He tricked me!" ("It ran down my chin like a warm jet of champagne! It got all over my clothes, they were so dirty! I felt so naughty I had to take a hot, wet shower! I had to get all soaped up and wash it off! And fuck Bill for three hours, for some reason! Eric's back muscles are like a sweating, heaving stallion! I was tricked!") Lafayette suggests that somebody slap the shit out of Eric, and Sookie giggles. "I did! He groaned a little! His thighs are like a tiger in the jungle, that could kill you in an instant! I want to eat an entire cheesecake!"

Then they talk about the amazing constant sex dreams, which Lafayette points out are not only awesome, but terrible for him considering his PTSD and total hatred of Eric, which Sookie can only infer so far. God, given Sookie's sexy/gaywad fucking-and-crying dreams about Eric, I can't imagine what Lafayette's would be like. "It is so hot on this yacht in Ibiza, I better pour champagne all over a hundred guys in thongs, and then make them do a little dance and watch us bone." Oh man, but that's like Queen Sophie-Anne's regular life! As fun as a theoretical meet up between Maryann and Nan Flanagan is, the idea of Sophie-Anne and Lafayette even being in the same town gives me the shivers. It would be like Maryann but instead of drunks humping it would be like spontaneous outbursts of fabulousness. Picture it: Jane Bodehouse in Yigal Azrouƫl, fierce-catwalking across the sky.

True Blood

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