"Can we see your fangs?" asks Coby, and he immediately pops fang at them. Lisa pulls her hands to her chest, like a prayer. "Don't you like vampires, little girl?" he says, flirting, but of course Sam doesn't get Eric, so he takes a warning tone, but Lisa's got the Hoyt benefit on her side, w/r/t vamp-hating: "Our almost-stepdaddy hated vampires, but we don't." The best way to raise a non-racist is to be a racist and a failure. Of course Pam rolls her eyes in the background, like of course trash like this associates with vamp-haters. "He went on a vacation with Jesus," Coby explains, somewhat counterfactually, and Pam thanks heaven she never had kids. Arlene's kids will do that.

"Oh, come on, Pam. They're funny!" Eric leans closer, inspecting them affectionately: "They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans!" She switches to Swedish, at least: "I hate them. They're so stupid." Heh. He points out, still in Swedish, that they are also delicious -- yee -- and Sam's like, "Um, can you fix my problem?" Eric nods, and gets ready to go see her immediately. They walk out together, with Pam in the back delighting Eric where she can't see him: "Please! Get those horrible things out of here! I'll be smelling them for a week." At the truck, Eric leans down -- "Good night, tiny humans," he says, with a delicious wink -- and takes off into the fucking sky. Guide gone, they pull their marbles together and clamber into the truck.

When Sookie heads inside Maryann's, through the mud porch, Jane Bodehouse is cutting off her own finger with a huge knife, singing to the tune of "Row Your Boat: "Lo lo bromios, lo lo bromios..." In the kitchen, there's a beautiful boy in the sink, naked, playing with intestines, and abundance rotting on the kitchen table. Lying in the shadow of Gran's body is Mike Spencer, shirt open, eyes wild, who pulls Sookie down onto the floor with him. "Remember when your Gran was layin' here all bloody and dead?" he giggles. She's like, "Um, obviously." When she tries to get away, he starts screaming that scream, setting the other two off, so finally she's coerced for a moment into spooning with him in that deadly place. "You smell good," he says grossly; she is well aware that he does not. "Makes you feel more alive bein' in the presence of death, don't it?" The boy in the sink laughs, and Mike says she'd probably know. "How come you let him put his dead pecker inside you, huh? It ain't natural, and it ain't right..." Sookie points out that pine-fucking floor-wallowing Mike Spencer is in no position "to talk about what's natural and right," and he just laughs.