Jason starts out having a sort of issue with Crystal's werepanther nature, but once he confronts Kitch Maynard about his V use and learns the whole town of Bon Temps is either on the make or on drugs, he decides adding "cat people" to the list of things about Crystal that is not a huge jump to make. She's not budging on the whole "raid Hotshot" issue, but we knew Jason was going to end up kissing some kind of Hotshot drug ring ass by the end of things. (Also, Felton is her HALF-BROTHER, gross, and that spacker that was eating the deer she describes as her "double cousin.") I just wish Kitch Maynard had his own show, Kitch Maynard Don't Give A $#&%, where he scoffs arrogantly. At everything from conventional wisdom, to popular consumer products, to your pets. And then we do pushups.

Sam is still on a bender, attacking Terry and Arlene in front of everybody and generally making a full-on ass of himself in front of the whole town. Arlene and Holly run off to have a little bit of a Wiccan abortion ceremony, which Arlene at first thinks is successful but then learns was not. Terry's ecstatic that their devil baby is sticking around, but of course Arlene did not suddenly become less of a superstitious twit, so she's still wigging out. And if you were wondering about Holly's face, it's still like that.

Tara mourns for Eggs some more, and then scares the piss out of Andy Bellefleur, who cries and comes clean about the whole Eggs deal in a really remarkably sweet way. Meanwhile, Sam kicks Tommy out of his house, job and life, engendering a new enmity and more Mickens-style robbery, and then realizes he is officially the worst person in Bon Temps besides Tara, so they hook up again based on being unpleasant and unpopular.

In other Bon Temps news, Hoyt offers himself up to Jessica as a fulltime blood donor, which is oddly sexy and sweet rather than revolting. This is the story of Hoyt and Jessica, but for some reason it's like no problem at all. Summer runs to Maxine, whom apparently is a major factor in that failed relationship, in super creepy ways I'm still not sure we fully understand. Oh, and Lafayette is going nuts: First he has a V aftershock in which Jesus looks all demonic, and then he gets taunted by all the dolls and images and voodoo stuff that covers his entire house. Which is still worse than contemplating a night without Jesus. Drugs do not pay!

While Yvette is helping Sookie escape Eric's dungeon and helping Bill beat up Pam, Eric is off to fund Russell and offer him Sookie's faery blood. Because Russell is a full-on hooker-killing maniac at this point, he goes for it. Bill and Sookie get about halfway back to Bon Temps -- talking merrily about what their queerbutt lives would be like with none of the many, many problems they constantly create for themselves -- before Eric and Russell kidnap 'em and head on back to Fangtasia! where, unbeknownst to Sookie, Eric sells Bill on his big plan.

And the big plan? Eric and Russell chow down on Sookie, putting her under once again, and then head out into the bright Louisiana sunlight. It works just long enough for Eric to handcuff himself to Russell with silver, and settle in to die in the parking lot, with Sookie whiting out inside, and most importantly Pam watching her maker die on the closed-circuit TV's inside the bar. Sad! But hopefully this is one of those plans that Sookie Stackhouse fully ruins without even trying.