True Blood
Gone, Gone, Gone

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A-
Love Isn't A Good Sailor


After a few seconds of sad memories, Jessica is interrupted by the Authority. She's not interested in going with the SWAT guys, but they give Jessica some FaceTime with Bill, and even over the phone she can tell he has overcome all previous levels of douchiness to find a whole new undiscovered realm of being a douche. As her maker, he commands her. And I gotta say that this part I'm pretty interested in, because Jessica's main story -- before she discovered boys, before Bill Compton saved her -- was her cult family that was way into the Bible and locking up their daughters. So now she's right back where she started, because Bill cannot be trusted this season. Isn't that sad?


Lafayette's old boyfriend is making a lot of sense these days, now that his entire racist paranoia deal is coming true, so now he seems a lot more righteous than he did when he was just a hateful hypocrite. This season is a little problematic. Steve is totally owning him in the debate itself, so it kind of goes both ways, but still. Once it gets amazing and he starts tossing dog whistles Finch's way about how they're both secret gay Republicans, etc., things switch to Russell mooning over Steve on TV, but screw that.

Authority: "Good thing Eric did drugs again, because he's fine."
Russell: "We really play fast and loose with the membership these days, don't we?"
Eric: "Just because I am close to getting killed at all times and I'm locked in an underground bunker with the craziest people on the planet doesn't mean I still can't fuck with your head."
Russell: "What do you mean?"
Eric: "Just that I've decided to forgive you for killing my whole family that time."
Russell: "We kind of went past that when you fucked and murdered my husband."
Eric: "I know, that's what makes this such a mindfuck to pull on you. Anyway, we're besties now. Lilith says!"

Meanwhile, Sam and Luna run around naked in the green room at Steve's debate, having remembered that they have magic powers, and eventually climb into Steve's man-purse for the quick drive back to the Authority compound. You know what I would notice in my man-purse? Two little white mice squirming around in there. Not Steve, though. Steve is too busy congratulating himself on being a much better Nan Flanagan than Nan ever was.


It's very sad but not on paper, so I'll just tell you what happened. Jason is driving Sookie to his house, where they're both going to wait out this thing and/or involve themselves further in faerie politics, when he sees Hoyt driving in the direction of Alaska. Even though, I think, he knows that messing with a glamour is destructive, he kind of loses control and can't help but try for one last connection with Bubba, so he pulls him over and they have an awkward "didn't we go to high school together" conversation that leaves Jason in one hundred thousand pieces.

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True Blood




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