True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2284 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Mars & The Real Girl

Also adorable: Daphne, fucking up orders again, some more; this time with Maxine Fortenberry and her Sparkle Motion friend, I don't know if we know her name. Maxine says probably it's better that Daphne suck as a waitress, because the very best Merlotte's waitresses tend to get murdered in their beds. "You are so bad, Maxine!" says Sparkle Motion, and Maxine shoves like an entire okra in her face, and then Andy comes brushing through to harass Lafayette in the kitchen about how he vanished for a few weeks and has now lost his "pizzazz." (Again: adorable, like with Arlene, but I'm almost close to tears at this point whenever Andy shows up, because I know he'll just be sad and make that cute sad face.) Lafayette claims to have been on a gay cruise -- certainly not cutting the heart out of any forest witches -- and Andy yells, "You weren't on any gay cruise! You would have come back with more pizzazz, not less!"

Terry, who's been near the back door watching this go on, finally steps forward, but it's too late: Andy's offered to lock Lafayette up at the station, which sends Lafayette scurrying off into a crazy spiral where Andy's suddenly wearing Eric Northman's face, shouting at him about this and that, and Terry finally throws his considerable bulk between his cousin and Lafayette and yells at him that when they played cops and robbers as kids, at least Andy made his arrests with dignity, and now he's just being mean, plus he's not even a cop anymore, and the shivering fetal ball of fear that was Lafayette a second ago is neither a suspect or a flight risk, so fuck off.

Of course, merely stringing that many words together has Terry nearly crying too, so now you've got three people in that room who are barely fucking holding it together, and it's awesome and pathetic -- I mean, poor everybody -- but not as awesome/pathetic as Andy saying, "I'm sorry, Mr. Reynolds" before leaving. Then Terry hunkers down and pulls Lafayette into his arms and holds him until he stops crying, trying to teach him how to negotiate the trauma in a way that makes sense, and it's fairly beautiful.

Hoyt comes storming into Merlotte's and tosses his cell phone down on Maxine's table, because she has had it turned off, because she is terribly lonely and can't stand the idea of Jessica taking him away from her. I mean, there are less kind ways to say it, but that's what you've got, and this whole episode is about your Maker: who made you, what you want out of them, what they want out of you, what you give up in order to be made, or remade, and how you're selling yourself short thinking you need anybody else's help defining the life you deserve:

True Blood

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