Hugo wants to be a vampire and can't see how that would ruin everything; Sarah Newlin wants to be a leader of men and can't imagine just doing it herself, so she's willing to be anybody's wife that she can use to realize her own ambitions; Lorena controls Bill today, and he went into terrible places trying to impress her eighty years ago; Eric has a slight affection for Godric; Eggs and Daphne and Tara don't even know what they're giving up yet, for the privilege of touching divinity. Jessica, in rebelling, unconsciously follows in her Maker's footsteps, pouring TruBlood down the sink to hit him in the pocketbook just like he did Eric last week. Poor Jason Stackhouse is... Well, he's in the same mess he is always in, but this applies to him of course just as strongly as ever, because his Maker is still Amy Burley, who taught him to hate vampires with her left hand while teaching him to love them with her right.

Hoyt worries that Jessica will think he's "like, one of those guys that never texts back," and Maxine protests weakly that girls like Jessica -- that call boys at all hours of the night -- are after money, which Hoyt points out they don't have, which sends Maxine into a Flannery spiral about how they're very comfortable for Sparkle Motion's benefit, and finally Hoyt's like, "THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON JESSICA ONLY CALLS AFTER BEDTIME," and then informs both ladies that he's dating a vampire, and stomps out looking if possible even taller as Maxine gasps and has vapors and the southern sympathy of Sparkle Motion translates itself loudly and roughly as, "I finally know what an orgasm is like."

Sam and Daphne are flirty and cute some more at the iced tea station, but watching Sam act "horny" is like watching Bill act "in on the joke," in that it's sort of difficult in some ways. Like he's pretty believable when he's talking about how all he wants to do is "shift and run and play," because after all this is the first time he's met another shifter; she's his Bellhop Barry. And it's pretty hot, if an awkward mess of dialogue, when he tells her that if she doesn't go out back and take off her clothes, she's fired. But when she goes, "Meet you out back in two" and he grits, "Make it one," through these horny Clint Eastwood teeth, it's like... Right, Sam is also a dork. I forgot, because he was wearing plaid, which always makes him act sassier.