So Russell and Sophie -- with a cute little air-kiss -- tell the Madge that, since he's now at the unspoken mercy of the Conspiracy, would he mind terribly putting their marriage on record? Um, he would. But a little bit of nudging from Russell -- and reminding him that see above re: the Authority we don't care. He kisses her hilariously on the shoulder and she hilariously agrees and he hilariously reminds the Madge that he is Their Royal Subject. So the Magister throws around a lot of rote language, ritual language, about his fealty to the Vampire Authority. Um, no. Russell nods, and Pam's on the other side of the room due to vampzooming and the Madge is on the table. It does not look good for my little pudding.

Our boys are asleep: Jason, Alcide, Lafayette. The only boy in the world that's still awake is the one whose time it is, now that it is night. Bill looks down at Sookie with so much love. So much passion, and worry, and care. And when she wakes, all she does is scream. Fear and hate and pain. Today's the day men invaded, and took everything.

Russell reminds his loyal subject that he is 1) A pathetic fool; specifically because he 2) blindly does the bidding of others, just like 3) humans and btw this is the major issue with vampires and being one: Vampires like the Madge are what is keeping us all down, etc. Pam chuckles because the Magister, I don't have to tell you, is not taking the lash at all as well as she did, a moment ago minus two days. Eric adoringly tells her they can go ahead and taunt later, but be classy now; Sophie asks her affianced to hurry up: "I'm getting cold feet." He calls her his little pudding, and torments my Magister until he finally -- and oh, how much less I loved him when he did -- pronounces them Husband & Wife. And my Magister is disgusted, with himself, for reasons maybe only Lorena was equipped to understand.

And just like that the episode resolves just like a song. Just like.

Or it would, if things were that simple, ever, or if this show were comedy, and not a tragedy: Pam and Eric hilarious congratulate the "happy" "couple," and there's an air-kiss that rivals anything that ever happened on Gossip Girl. Madge starts in with the Authority, because he is a zealot, because he is just like you and me, but Russell sees and thinks so much bigger than that, and he always has. "The Authority will never recognize," begins the Magister's sentence, and Russell completes it beautifully: "Its own irrelevance?" Gorgeous. I do love the King.