Roman activates Russell's iStake and ... nothing happens! And then Russell goes, "PEACE IS FOR PUSSIES!" and totally stakes Roman, and he explodes! Tears roll down Salome's cheeks, like maybe oh well kind of tears because she's in on it, and then over in Nora's cell she leans way, way back. Arching toward the halos:

"Praise Her!"

NEXT WEEK

What if Salome actually were Lilith, and the whole Bible just fan fiction? Nah, probably not. I just continue to get more and more scared that Lilith is going to show up. Didn't Sam's little were-deer girlfriend say -- or no, it was QSA -- something about how there aren't any Gods left? Does that count for Vampire God even? So many questions I'm afraid we'll be getting answers to. Uh, Sookie learns all about faerie magic finally; Lafayette confronts Jesus's dad and Tara finally talks to her mom; werewolves and shifters have all kinds of problems as usual; Russell goes to town on everybody's ass.

JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Bunheads, Pretty Little Liars and True Blood for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, and novelette "The Commonplace Book" will appear on Tor.com in October 2012.