Turns out the whole Russell Hunt was really just about leading the Chancellors to Russell, so after a brief tussle with some of his werewolf henchmen -- including Marcus's father and the new leader of the Shreveport Pack, JD -- the Authority SWATs immediately arrive and take over. They eat all of Russell's food people that are left, and plan on killing Sookie and Alcide until Bill and Eric promise to glamour them, with sad and sexy results.
Bill's glamour spell -- that Sookie forget he and Eric ever existed, and that she return to the sun forevermore and just be "normal" -- doesn't take at all, while Eric gives Alcide a little taste of V for his wounds before glamouring him to keep his hands off Sookie. Next morning, a sad -- and outstandingly awesome, even for this season -- Sookie helps Alcide remember their adventure, and he goes off to challenge JD for Packmaster, picking up some sassy tail in the process.
Sam and Luna survive their shooting, and little Emma shows up with Martha Bozeman in tow, still being a total class act. Against maybe her better judgment, Luna decides let Emma stay with Grandma for a while until they figure out who's gunning for shifters. Andy eventually agrees to help Sam track down the killers, considering he's one of the few humans that even knows what shifters are, and this eventually leads them back to one of the ringleaders: That dirtbag dude who owns the anti-supe weapon shop, whom Sam takes out with a crossbow and some worrisome anti-human rhetoric.
After Pam cools Tara's jets, Hoyt approaches Jessica about her fight and ruined friendship, but things go south and sour real fast once Hoyt shows just how damaged he's become. Later, the Obama guys show up and kill the dude Hoyt ended up with, taking him away in their big old van. No idea where any of that is going, but it sure is sad to watch Jessica get trounced by all her buds like this.
Jason dreams some more about their parents' vampire-related deaths, approaches Sookie about it, and before you can say "rebound project" she's dragged him back to the faerie nightclub, where we finally meet the show version of Claude, who is an adorable little guy that wouldn't be out of place in One Direction, and learn the truth: The Stackhouse "drowning" was actually caused by a vampire who smelled Sookie's blood on a Band-Aid in the backseat of their car. So Sookie goes nuts, again, some more.
Lafayette visits Ruby Jean in the hospital to discuss their mutual visitation by a tormented Jesus, and put together the pieces -- his spirit is being held captive by his creepy brujo grandfather, Don Bartolo -- in a memorably awesome sequence. Over at Merlotte's, Terry returns to tell Arlene that he is leaving her so she won't be killed by a fire monster demon from Iraq, to which she responds that he should go back on his meds. Eventually she lets him go, though, because neither possibility is all that encouraging.
And finally, the big news. Bill and Eric, unsure of their fates, are toasted by the Chancellors back at Authority HQ and freed from their iStakes. Salome acts super cagey about both Nora and King Russell, Nora continues to pray, and eventually Roman decides to set Russell's execution for that very night... Which is apparently exactly what the Mysterious Authority Lady who freed him wanted. Seems it's Lilith's will that Roman try to give Russell the True Death... Which makes a lot more sense once his iStake malfunctions and he totally stakes Guardian Roman in front of everybody.
Not sold on the purely divine nature of this whole switcheroo, but the confounding shifts in loyalty -- and abrupt removal of the main force behind mainstreaming -- means the Authority continues to be a fascinating area of play. This episode was maybe a bit harder to track, altogether, but spirited performances from (especially) Sookie, Hoyt and Ruby Jean kept the vibe going, and at this halfway-point I can still say personally that I haven't loved the show this much in years.
Next week: Russell goes apeshit on everybody's ass, Sookie learns about her powers finally, and Bill begins a possible religious conversion?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
PREVIOUSLY
Sookie and her many hot boyfriends tracked Russell to some kind of Silent Hill abandoned hospital, where Alcide got some wolf cramps or something. Tara got carried away and nearly murdered Hoyt, so now she and Jessica are having a baby vampire fight. Terry Bellefleur and his buddy Patrick are having demon troubles, as is Lafayette -- not to mention Jesus's issues beyond the grave, which are affecting both Lala and his mama. Somehow the God Hates Fangs type have found out about shifters, and managed to take down both Luna and Sam. The Authority are always having meetings about various things, while Jason's having trouble reconciling his newfound fear and hatred of vampires with... his like entire character arc over the last four seasons.
BABCOCK HOSPITAL
One of Russell's crackhead werewolves is to blame for Alcide's immediate issue, but for some reason he's content to just get dragged around by a werewolf instead of turning into a wolf. One good reason for him to do that would be that the werewolf is dragging him by the pants, and wolves do not wear pants.
The Boys: "I guess we have to go deal with Alcide and his pants! But first, we are being attacked by other crackhead werewolves who are hiding in the morgue drawers!"
Russell: "Which leaves you alone with me, Sookie Stackhouse. I seem to be feeling much better than I originally let on!"
Faerie Hands: Zap!
Eric: "Now I'm going to kill you, Russell! Just kidding, like always I am just going to stand here talking about it until somebody does something."
Bill: "Ah will be that somebody, Eric. Thank about it."
Bill's got a stake to Eric's back all of a sudden, and his logic is now about how, instead of killing Russell being their last act, they should just use him as a negotiating chit with the Authority. Aw man, and here I really thought the two male leads of the entire show were going to die in this episode, at the hands of a crackhead werewolf cult from Mississippi.
Vampire SWAT: Comes rappelling and zooming in from just everywhere.
Chancellor Candyman: "Also, that whole deal is moot because we have been tailing you this whole time. Obviously."
FANGTASIA!
Tara throws Jessica out of the washrooms and into the middle of the bar, which is where everything always happens. First of all, you're an employee; secondly, Pam has to freakin' pay for those insurance premiums. But most of all, Jessica is in the right. You were about to kill Hoyt. I don't know how much blood is in Hoyt, but it's got to be twice the amount of a regular-size boy. That is you being greedy, my dear.
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