True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 1 USERS: A-
Dazzler & Le Bad Boy
Tara reiterates their twinship -- Kinky? "Yeah! Fucked up! Crazy!" -- and he gives this hilarious, teasing like, "Oh, I'll go there" and she's all, "Bet you will!" and then tries to screw her courage to the sticking place, and Franklin goes off into a majorly amazing fetish-screamy-roleplay-moment: "Bite me! Bite into my flesh! Taste my blood! My sinew! My BONES! Open me up! Taste me! Drink me! Feed on me! Fuck yeah! Kill me! Kill me hard!" It's amazing. And somewhere in the middle of all that, Tara finally bites into his neck and pulls the flesh away, rolling her eyes and making growling noises and generally faking it for his pleasure, and my God these two. Every time I think Tara can't be more awesome in these scenes, she tops herself. The face she makes right before digging in is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Eric and Talbot are pouting and prissing and flirting with each other playing some billion-year-old card game -- Not Kaiserspiel, but Karnoffel -- and talking about boys. Talbot met Russell 700 years ago when he was human, although sometimes it feels like seven million, which is flirty but then he has to back that up with warning Eric away from Russell too, so they do that, and finally they just kind of trail their fingers around on the table like they're going to fuck but only learned about it from movies.

Russell sends Sookie back upstairs -- screaming about Bill, duh -- and Eric watches Russell and Talbot very quickly, with that conspiratorial flirty smile plastered on, at all the cracks in the spaces between them. He won't tell Talbot where he's going, saying it's just business, and Talbot doesn't even have time to get pissy about that before the King invites Eric along, which shifts the triangle all the way over into a new shape: "You never take me anywhere! Because you prefer to be in the company of sycophants!"

Russell and Eric lock eyes, smiling indulgently about it, so Talbot almost gratefully takes the bitchy-wife role again for his exit scene: "Deep down, my darling, you have very weak character." (While Eric would I think normally smack you for calling him a sycophant, like what a ridiculous accusation, we're dealing with a King so he gets to practically roll his eyes, like, "What can you do? You say sycophant, I say smitten.") Though for what it's worth, I feel bad for Talbot here, because No Threesomes is the rule and this is why: Not even Talbot knows if he's feeling bad because Russell chooses Eric over him, or Eric's choosing Russell. They both sting, and he has to admit the possibility he'll be left out because that's exactly what Eric's been leading him to think will happen to Russell.

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True Blood




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