True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Dazzler & Le Bad Boy

Russell assures him that he hates Weres as much as Eric or anybody else, they're stupider than even dogs, but that like anything or anybody else they're more use alive. Eric asks what uses the King puts his Weres, and for some reason he comes right out and explains, with a coy lilt in his voice, about the blood ritual -- but points out that Eric, as a V dealer, can hardly get "fundamentalist" on him about that. The only people who care about the sanctity of the blood, he implies, are old-guard anachronisms like the Magister. (And Godric, but he doesn't know that, or why it's dreadfully important.)

"If all the supernaturals would stop squabbling among themselves and unite," he says, leaning back and into an oft-told speech, "We could conquer humans in a matter of days." He calls this his dream, and lets us in on the bigger Russell picture: "Throughout history, I have aligned myself with or destroyed those humans in power, hoping to make a dent in mankind's race to oblivion." (Like your dad, but see above re: Russell has no idea who Eric actually is yet.) "What other creature actively destroys its own habitat?" he says, which may become a theme for our Russell: "I mean, do you remember how the air used to smell? How humans used to smell? How they used to taste?" I'm sure Al Gore will be calling you shortly for your endorsement, Lord Edgington. "The inconvenient truth is that human flesh now tastes like preservatives."

When Eric says he remembers everything, there's a threat in his voice that the King has no reason to hear, so he moves on to the way "Adolf" was a "preening little fool" but at least understood about the Master Race, which of course is vampires after all. They laugh creepily but it's all pretty dorky, which is automatically what happens when you use Nazis as a narrative device (cv. Godwin's Law). At this point, Eric realizes they're not going to Shreveport right now after all, and no amount of being hunky is going to change that. This is a rare experience for Eric.

Jesus and Lafayette are a little more chemical now that they've reached his "humble abode," and Jesus runs right over past the million gothic ornaments and occasional furniture to his altar. "That's my girl! Tonantzin!" he says, indicating the Virgin of Guadalupe. (Lafayette's confused by that, which is in itself confusing because he also has statues of Eleggua and Chango up there, which would seem to indicate he understands the basics of this stuff, and if you don't, avail yourself of Google because I see no reason to go into it yet, given how shallow this whole scene is.)

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True Blood

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