True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 1 USERS: A-
Dazzler & Le Bad Boy

Jesus wonders why he's working with such powerful Gods -- "These guys are pretty fucking hardcore, dude" -- but quickly realizes that Lafayette is, at best, a dilettante. Which I mean, he even seems to read Tarot as just like ambience, so he's not wrong. (Still, though: Jesus just happens to pray to the exact three Gods that are on Lafayette's altar? Out of all of them?)

"Lafayette, man, these guys? They have to be appeased, bro, or else they will fuck you up. Seriously, I sing for Eleggua. I put out shots of tequila for Chango." To be blessed and then drunk. Jesus is telling him some important, if basic, stuff, but Lafayette doesn't notice that. It's probably best, since the whole scene smacks of info-dump and more of that Rachel Getting Married/NPR globalism chic rather than anything approaching organic storytelling. They think about drinking some shots for Chango, or maybe fucking for him, so they do some kissing that is not exactly at a snail's pace, but of course the Hotshot homophobes show up immediately to wreck that lovely car.

Points to be made: Lafayette is a faggot, his car is "non-American," he is a "faggot" and additionally a "cocksucker" and a "fucker." Lafayette takes one down while Jesus swings a baseball bat, and beats the shit out of him. Also, he will pay for repairs to Lafayette's "ride," which if he doesn't have liquid cash for that, he needs to get going on selling that V he and Eric forced them to take last night. As for whether V is "evil," Lafayette points out, somewhat validly, that it's no worse than the meth that seems to be 100% of the Hotshot GDP.

Jesus peels Lafayette off the guy, who runs away -- "Go tell your mama two faggots whupped your ass, bitch!" -- and it's all very empowering, with that AIDS-burger taste of going to the same well over and over, but then Jesus indicates that he doesn't date drug dealers, first of all, and that V is a terrible "intense" thing that ruins lives, and therefore this date -- which is going on twelve hours long at least -- has come to an end. Lafayette mutters "bitch" at him for no real reason except that's how they talk in this episode, and Jesus slams the passenger-side door, making it rain glass in a way that's strangely hilarious.

Queen Sophie-Anne acts as a metaphor for our short-sighted and unregulated financial system. It is timely.

The Queen sends Ludis and Hadley to spend the hundred dollars she just won from a lottery scratch-off to buy more lottery scratch-offs -- "Mama's feeling lucky tonight" -- but these are not forthcoming, because guess who just killed or bought off all her guards and invaded her home? Russell, who grins, "Mama couldn't be more wrong!" She hops up in a pretty white suit, dripping with pearls (her location, her palace, her persona are always about the ocean) and worried about Hadley. She's safe, which for Russell means "tied up somewhere," and he once against pleads his troth. "In addition to never touching you," he points out, "I will settle all your debts." Which he should have just said to begin with, because it's the first time she's ever been given pause.

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True Blood




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