True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 1 USERS: A-
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Dazzler & Le Bad Boy

"I hate your fucking guts, Eric Northman. I promise I will pay you back for this!" Eric feels shitty for a second, but once he hears Russell entering the room -- "Sorry to have kept you waiting, a husband's work is never done..." -- he plasters that gigantic awful good-boy smile on again, and flirts on out of there. Sookie gives him the stock answer -- "I'm a waitress" -- and he either references Dorothy Parker or just pull from the cliché generator Lorena and Bill recently installed: "Yes, and I am Marie of Romania!" He reminds her that even immortals don't have inexhaustible patience, and she stares at him all teary-eyed and tries to remember what she's got to work with.

Arlene's pink bra matches her fanny-pack. That's not a good thing. She realizes almost immediately -- after a bit more of that easy, coworker chat about how Terry gets frazzled after a day of babysitting, which is odd since he just moved in earlier today -- that Lafayette and Jesus have left her alone with Jessica, and she gets scared again: "Okay, but just so you know? This necklace is pure silver. And I take garlic supplements too." Jessica tries to explain about how the fangs don't mean she's going to attack Arlene, and she softens somewhat to bitch about how she got no tips tonight. Jessica feels bad about that one, so she figures out a way where everybody wins. Well, almost.

"Don't kill her or anything," Arlene warns, and Jessica goes to visit Curlers' table. "Excuse me, ma'am? You're not hungry anymore. Now, I want you take all the money you have and leave it on the table then head to the ladies', alrighty?" She comes back and tells Arlene it's over for the night, and then meets the lady in the WC for a quick snack. The bizarre sexual sounds from behind the door don't seem to faze Arlene, although she's a bit weirded out when Curlers -- kerchief now around her neck, you see -- comes out woozy and happy. "Thank you so much. You are the best waitress I've ever had." She takes off and Arlene stares at the shitload of money in her hand, and then Jessica zooms at her out of nowhere, congratulating her on a good end to the night: "You got a nice tip and nobody got killed! See you tomorrow..." I guess that pep talk from Pam really helped.

Out in the luxury automobile, Jesus and Lafayette are listening to French rap from the Sex & The City finale. Yes because they're gay, and yes because like Alan Ball, all good NPR listeners know that "Escape From Dragon House" was a Dengue Fever song, but also because it's a fusion of French and African-derived music, which is another hint as to Jesus's origins. Also, it sounds pretty bad-ass, in a sort of Express Men/Armani Exchange/"Life In Mono" kinda way. (And also-also, maybe this will matter down the road: The song is called "La Bette Et Le Bad Boy.")

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True Blood

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