THE MERLOTTES OF REYNARD
Well, those Mickens Boys sure can't stay out of trouble for more than a day or two, can they? Why, Boss Hogg is on their trail and they're still miles away from the swamp where they're headed to feed their parents to the alligators (crocodiles?). Andy Bellefleur's got the mean-eyed look of a man strung out on the V, and sure as anything he just loves pressin' his bootheel down on the likes of Sammy and Tom. After a few tense seconds of reckless authority and addict paranoia, ol' Andy's got the back door of that there van open, and then before you know it Tommy Merlotte's hissin' at him in the form of the biggest crocodile (alligator?) you ever saw. Andy runs faster'n a Benny Hill sketch back to his beater, and them Mickens Boys hit the road once again.
Katya: "Marnie, it's so great to see you again in my guise of a witch spy for vampires!"
Marnie: "I thought you were gone for good! Let me tell you about this ghost witch lady that lives in my body since I committed ontological suicide like a crazy old asshole. She's going to save us from the vampires."
Katie: "Not unless she shows up in the next three two one... SWAT."
Marnie, roughly taken into custody: "Curses! Not literal!"
Katie, into walkie: "Target acquired."
SOOKIE'S HOUSE OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY LEAVING & COMING BACK OR SOMETIMES GETTING BRUTALLY MURDERED
Sookie: "You're a lesbian now? Whatever, that's cool."
Tara: "Okay, but since I have your attention can I complain about a personal issue?"
Sookie: "You have ten seconds."
Tara: "Same old Sookie."
Sookie: "No, I mean the sun's going down and I don't want to explain you and Eric to each other."
Tara: "Okay, well I've been lying to my girlfriend about everything there is you could lie about."
Tara: "And that's it. That's the problem. Our whole relationship is a lie."
Sookie: "Oh, just like me and Bill! Well, you should probably go fight for her. In the next five seconds."
Tara: "But if it were Bill fighting for you, would you let him in?"
Sookie: "Are you kidding me? What is more fun than torturing Bill Compton? In this case, though, you have to be honest when it comes to the people you love."