Arlene, hilariously hissing at the ceiling: "You hear that, Rene? God's coming for youuuuuu."
Godric: "Hey Eric, it's me! Indisputable proof that I am imaginary and not an angel or ghost. Since I used to represent the humanity you were suppressing, now that you're nice and amnesiac I will represent the demonic vampire side of you that you're slowly beginning to know about and fear. You copy? It's basic psychology that your Shadow speaks for the parts of yourself you're denying."
Eric: "I copy. I have no idea who you are, but I am majorly conflicted so that makes sense."
Godric: "Cool. Let's get homoerotic and then eat Sookie together, symbolizing a journey toward integrating your vampiric sex/murder drive that you barely yet understand."
Eric: "What a fantastic idea!"
Sookie: Dies screaming.
Eric: Wakes screaming. It was just a dream!
Sookie: "Eric, why are you standing in my bedroom looking destroyed?"
Eric, pouting, eight feet of sex and Tyler Durden hips: "I had a bad dream!"
Hoyt: "Thanks for giving my best friend the magical shit that is your blood."
Jessica: "Sure, whatever."
Hoyt: "You seem really distant ever since you hypnotized me and invalidated our entire relationship and sent yourself into a shame spiral that has yet to fully express itself."
Jessica: "I'm just gearing up."
Hoyt: "Okay, let's undress Jason and then go back to our house."
Jessica: "I'm still going to be distant and feel gross about touching you."
Hoyt: "Then I would prefer to stay here with Jason, to punish you. On some level it's possible I also know you've done something disgusting."
Jessica: "Um, that hurts my feelings but it's also a relief. Being around you feels like sandpaper on the inside of my brain because of what I did. So I'll see you tomorrow!"
The Redoubtable Portia Bellefleur: "Sit still, this is going to take a minute."
Grandpa Bill: "Miss Bellefleur, Ah assure you that nothin' you have to say will change my feelings on this matter..."
TRPB: "Fact. 42 states have repealed their anti-incest laws. Even in cases of brother and sister they have found no credible reason to ban sex between two consenting adults."
Bill: "Please do not think that you have mah consent."
TRPB: "Fact. Incest is only taboo because of the potential for genetically-morbid offspring. And vampire-human sex will not/cannot result in offspring."
Bill, so perfectly: "Portia, there are pressing matters to which Ah must attend!"
TRPB: "Fact. There are married cousins in Bon Temps with more common DNA than you and me. Factor in Hotshot, and..."
Bill: "Although Ah am the worst, Ah must refrain from incestuous union with..."
TRPB: "Fact. In 1941 a family from Shreveport..."
Bill: (Glamours her not just to leave him alone, but in fact to run screaming from the mere sight of him. )