True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B
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Pictures Of The Floating World

Did you know you're watching a soap opera? It's been a long time since Sookie went running around the graveyard in her nightie and a candlestick, but yes: Sometimes Sookie and Bill get a little gaywad about some things. This is one of those times. Eric shows up and he and Bill sort of sniff at each other and talk about how "Well, I know what Sookie is" and like "Well I knew first" and that kind of thing. Boy stuff.

Eric finally says outright what we always knew -- that Sophie-Anne sent her procurer to Bon Temps specifically to get ahold of Sookie. What's interesting is that Bill is always so resistant to this idea that it almost seems like he just... Ruled it out. Repressed it so hard it just went away. But what we didn't know is that, at least from what Eric's saying now, is that Sophie-Anne did this specifically because she thought Sookie's blood would let her knock about in the daylight. Which, given her well-lit seaside situation, we could have guessed. It's still very Mary Antoinette, for all Talbot's whines about Russell's collections: She wanted Sookie as a toy. Her whole life is at night now.

Bill admits that the Sookie Sunlight Effect works iffy at best and that even drinking her into a coma only got him to a state where he could run around in that tracksuit for a few minutes and then eventually went to ground. Eric and Bill fight about which one of them is Russell's "buttboy," and it turns out neither of them are. Especially now that Eric totally killed Talbot with porn. Bill, now that he has a teen daughter, sometimes he says stuff like, "So that's why he went medieval on TV?"

Bill is offended that Eric, by way of Russell, has set back the Cause (Remember when he was always talking about the Cause? And we didn't even know it was a big fake lie and only Bill even believed in it? Happier times.) and also that Eric is in Bon Temps pretending he cares about Sookie. Predictably, this sets off a domino effect of who loves Sookie more, and why don't you tell Sookie the fucking truth, and who is less likely to tell Sookie the fucking truth, because who loves her the most, and the whole time you're like, "Man, if Sookie were here she would love the shit out of this conversation," but guess what?

Bill and Eric stop making out for a sec so Bill can say the only real truth is the thing about how she's a faerie, but now that Eric's here she's all distracted and shouty. "Why are you here? To pretend like you care about my safety, so you can sell me out to Russell again? Or is it to the Queen this time?" Eric implies that Bill is not trustworthy, and Sookie as usual blows that one off in favor of yelling at him some more about how she knows what she is and she knows what Eric wants and he will never ever get it. Which means, of course, he's never been closer to getting what he wants. Eric mopes off into the darkness, Compton-style, with these as his parting words: "Do what you want. I won't be around much longer anyway. I wish you the best, Sookie Stackhouse." And a little bell goes off inside Sookie Stackhouse, although she doesn't yet know why. In related news, this is the best Eric has looked in weeks. Fangtasia! works wonders like that.

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True Blood

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