True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Secret History

"Arlene, don't cry. I didn't mean to be peculiar at you." (See what I mean? That's like Night Court.) "I just don't know what we did." Arlene realizes that he blacked out the sex too, and he's sort of excited by the prospect, and then they negotiate through whether or not forgetting that they fucked is insulting, and finally she's just so relieved she starts crying again. It's weird, but honestly -- with the mascara and everything -- this is the prettiest she's ever looked. I'm always amazed how bravely they make Carrie Preston, who is basically gorgeous, look like such a fucking freakshow, which makes the loveliness of her smile here twice as beautiful, because it shines through the mostly bullshit that is her. They almost kiss, sweetly, but some insane lady offscreen keeps yelling for her corn, and it's quite droll, and she takes off, and they are in love again, and it's great.

Tara comes in laughing off her tardiness and telling Eggs to order lunch on her, but Lafayette spots her bruises from behind the bar and comes running up. "Lafayette!" yells Eggs, very friendly -- and a wonderful grace note on their interactions so far -- but Lafayette has no time for friendly Eggs: he's too busy grabbing her face and freaking out about the Cycle of Violence. She says she doesn't know what happened, but it wasn't Eggs, but Lafayette's not having it, and Eggs is really offended of course, and Lafayette offers to beat Eggs's face in for him, and Eggs reminds him to take off his false eyelashes first -- which is awesome -- and then accidentally bashes Tara in the face on the way to punching Lafayette -- which is ironic -- and all the fat trashy white country folk in the place turn in their seats to watch the black people hit each other -- which is fucking gross, but also describes about 80% of all daytime TV, the majority of Real Housewives Of Atlanta, VH-1's entire fake-dating franchise, and practically America's Next Top Model at this point -- and yell about domestic violence, and one of them is a tranny still yelling about the Cycle of Violence, and how Eggs is "poison," and will never change, and will probably kill her, and finally they leave together, and the white people cheer, and Lafayette points out that they are being gross rednecks, and feels something strange in this too. They were hungrier for it than usual. They are cheering him.

But what makes it especially gross and ironic is that nobody knows, not even Lafayette, that the bruises totally did come from Tara working out her domestic and emotional abuse with Eggs: Maryann doesn't put anything in you. She just pulls it out. None of us are so lacking in darkness that she'd have to create it. And the more you have, the more she loves you. It's why she's always loved Tara most of all. (But then, wait 'til she meets Lafayette.)

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True Blood

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