Alcide: "Sookie, do you need me to act like your big brother and solve all your problems like usual?"
Sookie: "You've already helped me more than you know. Go, shift, kill stuff. Do whatever werewolves do. I got this!"

That last said with the kind of hilarous, adorable, wild-eyed zeal she usually employs for sucking bullets out of people.

MERLOTTE TRAILER OF SLUT-SHAMING

Luna: "That was crazy! It was almost like I was getting raped by a teenager in his older brother's body."
Sammy: "Um..."
Luna: "Anyway. Probably just that full moon nobody's mentioned in six seconds. Let's turn into animals and fly around and be whimsical until you want to barf."
Sammy: "References to shapeshifting remind me of killing my parents. Your whimsy and romance remind me that Sam is more worthwhile than I am! I will never be happy! Ya whore!"
Luna: "Whoa. You just shapeshifted into a dick."
Sammy: "I am on a rampage! And I have cramps some more! Get the fuck out of my trailer so I can barf up my guts and maybe die for some reason!"
Luna: "If you were a Skinwalker, maybe I could help. Oh well. Go fuck yourself, Sam Merlotte."

But you know? If they weren't brothers...

Anyhow. Pukes up guts, maybe dies. Skinwalking is tough on you for some reason; harder still when you've convinced yourself that you are everything disgusting, and your brother is everything beautiful. Tommy has got so much going on right now.

JESS & JASON

Jason: "Guess I'm not a werepanther. Hotshot keeps finding new ways to suck."
(Just give me some Timbo and I won't complain ever again, Hotshot. Come on!)
Jessica: "Wait, now you want to be one?"
Jason: "No, but I'm still searching for meaning in my brutal violation and stuff. Do you wish you weren't a vampire?"
Jessica: "No. If this show has a theme, it's that real always sucks more than fake, but you always have to pick it. I have superpowers, like any minority, and everything sucks, like it does for every minority. That question barely even makes sense to me because I'm so awesome."
Alternately: "It's kinda hard to explain, but my old world was about that big. And now? It's endless."