True Blood
I Wish I Was The Moon

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
The Mask & Mirror
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Eric: "My superpower is being adorable."
Sookie: "My superpower is my clothes disappear with a quickness."
Second Base: Occurs.
Bill: "My superpower is I ruin everything!"
Them boys have a big old fight that manages to preserve every piece of furniture in the whole place.
Sookie: "Eric. Hey, Eric? Eric! That dork is the King of Louisiana."
Eric: Flips over for a belly rub.
SWAT goons swarm the Stackhouse house and they steal Eric.

Sookie: "Stop stealing my boyfriend!"
Bill: "But Ah must accomplish my business. Mah vampire business."
Sookie: "This is positively all about me!"
(For once she is correct.)
Bill: "Ah assure you that mah actions do not reflect mah feelings about your love life."
(He proves this is the case by immediately calling her a ho.)

It is discussed that Eric is not a danger to anybody, except maybe kittens he might pet too hard. Bill maintains a vague, Palin-esque, saying-without-saying, stating without explaining hunch that Eric got a bunch of witch on him and thus presents some kind of danger.

Sookie: "If you ever loved me, don't do this."
Bill: "Um, you ripped up that card and shit on it when you lied right to mah face."

Sookie: "You're not making sense!"
Bill: "Ah have to believe what Ah am saying, and so Ah shall! He is faking it to make you His! Or alternately, he is under the control of witches!"
Sookie: "Wait, so is he faking it, or is he tainted by witchcraft beyond his control?"
Bill: "Both! Neither!"
Sookie: "I have trapped you in a web of logic. This is a first."
Bill: "SWAT team, don't let Sookie come back in here. She taxes mah brain."
Sookie: "At least I still have a job, and the woods aren't going anywhere or filling up with monsters, so of the three places I always am I'm still sitting pretty. For now!"


Eric: "I need a hug. Wait, what's that terrible smell?"
Pam: "It is my fucking face."

Eric: "Too bad we're both in jail and probably going to get staked."
Pam: "Wait, what? No, this is the part where we fuck up King Bill."
Eric: "But he is my liege!"
Pam, verbatim: "Let me tell you a little something about King Bill. He's a self-loathing, power-hungry, pompous little dork. And you hate his guts. Snap the fuck out of it! You have no loyalty to Bill Compton. You are a Viking Vampire God, and you bow to no one."
Eric: "Treasonous talk like this makes me nervous. Also swears."

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16Next

True Blood




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP