True Blood
I Wish I Was The Moon

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Mask & Mirror

Bill: "Ah am almost more grossed out by your honorable and only slightly obsequious acquiescence than the treasonous but flirtatious comportment of your previous incarnation."
Eric: "...English is not my first language, my liege."
Bill: "Ahem. Are you sure you don't want to bitch about the True Death?"
Eric: "No, I'm cool."
Bill: "Because Nan and Sookie are right, I just realized Ah am being a dorky butthole about this situation."
Eric: "Oh, hey there, Tiger, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you're doing a great job. That's a very pretty stake, for example. Let me point to the location of my heart."

Bill: "Hmm. To put it another way, what can Ah do to make you reconsider?"
Eric: "Nothing, but could you do me a favor?"
Bill: "Not kill you? Why, Ah would be happy to..."
Eric: "No, silly. Just tell Sookie that I've been in love with her technically my whole life -- even though the only way I ever express it is by talking about how pretty she is -- and that I hope you two crazy cats get back together, because she deserves to be happy. And I think you're pretty great."

Kittens crawl around on tender and uncertain kitten feet; puppies roll over, begging to be scratched, long tongues not quite yet completely under control; Eric lies back in his giant Hoyt costume, exposing like three abs, and lets the kittens and puppies crawl all over him, giggling softly as they snuffle and snuggle. Eventually it looks so comfortable, there on the driveway, that Bill hunches down there with him and gives Eric a big ol' hug for being such a sweetheart. Eric takes one of the kittens and pretends like it's talking to Bill, in the cutest Kermit voice, and then beeps Bill on the nose with the kitten's nose, and it's a little cold but he can't feel it because he's a vampire, but then the kitten licks him softly on the cheek, and he feels that. Boy does he ever.

Bill: "Oh, God damn it."

MEXICO

Abuelo: "Probably this Marnie is cutting herself open and letting Ghost Witch Ladies sublet. Like so."
Jesus & Lafayette: "No, she hasn't been possessed as far as we know. Except for when she told us that was what was going on."
Abuelo: "Okay, well, how about we just do this my way?"
Jesus & Lafayette: "We're not really concerned with Marnie right now. It's more about the vampires for us currently."
Abuelo: "Trust me, it's going to be about witch stuff real quick."
Jesus & Lafayette: "[More bitching and moaning.]"
Abuelo: "You know what? Fuck it."

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True Blood

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