True Blood
I Wish I Was The Moon

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Mask & Mirror

Andy: "Sam! I have arrived to climb up your colon just like every episode!"
Sam: "I have finally had enough of this shit. I am not your new Jason Stackhouse. Get off the drugs, get off my jock, and go suck a bag of choads."
Andy: "Authority things!"
Sam: "I will Doberman your face off."

Holly: "Andy, could you stop bothering that poor man who's just lost two investment properties and come help me move this chair? Apparently all the waitresses of Merlotte's live on this one block that Sam owns. Soon he'll establish a commissary and his own currency and we'll only have to leave for necromancy meetings and failed abortions."
Andy: Lifts an entire La-Z-Boy over his head with 'roid strength.
Holly: "Cool. Hamburgers on the house next time you come by the place where I work."
Andy: "You mean like a date?"
Holly: "...Sure, why not. Single moms aren't usually very choosy on TV."

Sam: "Hey, Tommy. I hope you got some sleep without dreaming about our mom's dead face that you killed."
Tommy: "Do you need some help with your whole situation burning down because Arlene is incompetent slash has devil babies?"
Sam: "No, could you just open the bar instead? In the last 24 hours I got amnesia about how totally untrustworthy you are. Or possibly I would like to burn down all my shit at once and move to Boca Raton."

Everybody, at least once a scene: "Just casually, did you know tonight's a full moon?"

Tommy has a total 'sode in the mirror, because on TV you always stare hatefully at yourself in the mirror like a post-blowjob Heather Chandler and then abruptly begins slapping himself around. Because it is Tommy, this part is heartbreaking. Eventually he puts his beautiful self through so much slappage that he abruptly Skinwalks himself into Sam, who then spends the whole episode doing an amazing fucking job of being Tommy. Like, it's eerie.

But in terms of the overall theme of the episode, and the season -- supernatural shit as metaphor for attempting to completely X yourself and be something else -- it's also really kind of beautiful, and very sad. He hated himself into a whole new face.

MEXICO

Is gross.

CHEZ LAFAYETTE

Naomi: "Hello, I came to yell at Tara Thornton?"
Tara: "Hey, I was just hanging out here with a gun in my hand."
Naomi: "That's interesting, but not so much that I'm going to ask about it."
Tara: "It's because I got raped like eighty times and duct-taped to a toilet in a wedding dress and accidentally joined a cult from eating people's organs and get gnawed on by vampires at least once every sixteen hours and recently took part in some magic spells that pissed off a bunch of vampires and once I obliterated a dude's entire head with the end result that he got better and I got chased through a plantation in a nightie and it was racist."
Naomi: "What may be for others a red flag is, for lesbians, an invitation to chat and really get in there and process our feelings."
Tara: "By all means, come inside so we can yak about my many traumas."

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