True Blood
I Wish I Was The Moon

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Mask & Mirror

LACUNA MATATA

Tara: "...Aaaaanyway, it all goes back to my horrific mother and how the whole town always figured I would end up like her -- unpleasant, lonely, prone to drinking -- because of how I was unpleasant and lonely and prone to drinking."
Naomi: "That hardly seems fair."
Tara: "Yeah, right? So I turned into Toni the Lesbian from Atlanta, met you, fit you into my life like a puzzle piece, and I've been living in unhealthy denial ever since."
Naomi: "I feel like I should be offended."
Tara: "Nevertheless, thank you for letting me share."

Naomi knocks her on the ground; Tara feels like she deserves it but it's not terribly offensive because A) They are cagefighters, B) This is clearly leading to more sex and C) She basically deserves it.

Shifters gotta shift, witches gotta witch. Vampires vamp, werewolves change and run and kill stuff. Everybody's got a way to mediate between their Tara and their Toni: Between the scarred and filthy self we carry around all day long, and the higher Self we could reach if we just wished hard enough. Everybody has that, except us.

MERLOTTE'S

Sookie: "Jason, the fact that I am calling your voicemail should indicate how dire my shit just got. After Alcide, you're my fourth choice for solving my problems for me. Please do call back."

Sammy: "Sookie Stackhouse, I can tell from the sparkle in your eyes that you're about to ask for time off, probably to deal with the incredible amount of shit you've got going on at all times. As my first act in my brother's body, you are fired."
Sookie: "Wait, being held accountable for my performance and/or behavior? That is such a foreign concept to me that I will literally overlook it for the rest of the episode."

Sammy: "Dear Audience, your concerns have been noted. Pandering and winking at you like this is something that, having reached the fourth season, all shows get comfortable doing. Soon, each episode will contain the following. One (1) reference to the ridiculous amount of creatures, storylines and characters. One (1) reference to what a fucking dork Bill is and has always been. And finally, one (1) reference to Sookie's total entitlement. Next season you can look forward to us making fun of each of Sam's past storylines, the prodigious amounts of rape this season, and possibly bringing back Michelle Forbes for just a split-second purely to make you shit your pants. You are welcome."
Sookie: "Great. Now that that's out of the way, can I have my job back?"

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True Blood

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