True Blood
I Wish I Was The Moon

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Mask & Mirror

Music: [Something about being a "brand new man," because subtlety.]
Sammy: "Hey, y'all! I'm sexy Sam! I am your boss! I say boss things! I hit on ladies!"

Sammy spots Maxine, and heads over to be sweet to her because he misses her and her absolute loneliness and desperation that calls out so clearly to his own and the ways their lives fit together perfectly for one second, and she responds by giving him the dozens about what a stupid fucking creep Tommy is. First it makes him sad because he needs a replacement mommy more than ever, and then it makes him sad because she's never sounded quite so much like Joe Lee Mickens, but on a purely plot-related level it really just takes us the obligatory next stage of the way to Tommy trading his self-slapping self-hatred for the pride of being somebody good that you are not.

But hmm, because now you've got Sam in financial trouble possibly, and Maxine grinding the last of Tommy's gratitude out of him, so I wonder if the whole thing will come back around. My assumption was that Tommy would use his powers to get the scam accomplished by himself, but it's a lot more interesting if Sam's the only conflicted one and they end up doing it together. God knows Maxine's the worst either way.

I'M ONLY PUMAN

Sookie: "I got off work today, so I thought I'd come bother you about how my one boyfriend stole my other boyfriend."
Jason: "Sook, get out of my house. I am going through things."
Sookie: "Why are you handcuffed to the bed? Kink just means you're bad at sex."
Jason: "It's because I might turn into a panther."
Sookie: "Well, sure."

SHREVEPORT

Ol' Debbie's got company when Alcide brings home her daily transfats: One Packmaster Greasy, sittin' on the couch gettin' everything all werewolfy while she feeds him pickled snouts and Vienna sausages and that scary octopus that wiggles when you pour soy sauce on it and whatever nasty shit she serves her poor guests while going slowly crazy in their tract home.

Alcide: "Stop feedin' that werewolf your trashy nightmare food!"
Debbie: "Alcide, I am a hostess."
Greasy: "All I did was ask if she had a few minutes to look at some literature. Before I knew it she was making Tang."
Alcide: "Debbie doesn't spend a lot of time reading, good sir. You may leave now."

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True Blood

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