True Blood
I Wish I Was The Moon

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Mask & Mirror

Greasy: "Sorry I 'alpha'd' you so hard last week, but I was busy making up absurd supernatural lingo that nobody would ever actually use."

Alcide: "I run with no pack and answer to no howl. I am a lone wolf. I wolf alone."
Greasy: "We'll revisit at a later date. I assume you're going to beat your wife now, because we are bikers."
Alcide: "I thank you. Do take some room-temp cold cuts when you go."

Alcide: "God damn it, Debbie."
Debbie: "Alcide, I am not a lone wolf! I do not wolf alone! Mississippi is a shithole, but now that I live in Shreveport I have a different perspective on shitholes. My only friends are you and Sookie, and she hates my ass, so all my friends are you, and you wolf alone."
Alcide: "I'm sorry that werewolves are so disgusting that we can't hang out with them."
Debbie: "You dramatically underestimate how disgusting I am. In fact, my whole descent into addiction and Nazi worship could, if you were awful, seem predicated on the fact that you let me fall in codependent, crazy-making love with you in the first place."
(We pour out a little for my Cooter.)
Alcide: "Valid. I will run with the pack tonight under that full moon everybody keeps tossing casually into conversation, and then you will see how gross they are. You will make choices and they will be healthy choices. Then you can meet some AA people or something. They're always super fun."

What does Alcide's Toni look like? I think it looks like this, but I think it includes -- as to include -- Debbie, in her new and lovely hostess form. Which means when she goes down, she's taking the tablecloth with her.

MARNIE IN THE U.S.A.

Marnie: "Well, it's been five seconds. I'd probably better do something stupid."
She does. Even though it's just now turning to nighttime, and frankly, she could have done this hours ago while the entire vampire situation was asleep.
Marnie: "Now that I'm bleeding all over the place, I better smear some blood on my face and then roll around in my blood and have a freakout."

Dear Antonia, It's Me, Marnie. Please possess me like usual. Love, Gross Marnie.

Turns out the evil vampire priests are even more evil than you thought, and Olivier was more than a little implicated, by raping Antonia for about ten minutes that we have to watch (and then presumably leaving the country ten minutes later). So not only did Olivier start this whole mess -- admittedly, at the behest of his Maker -- he's the only one that survived and is one of the LA Sheriffs that's currently manning Billtanamo Bay? Hmm, I wonder what could possibly happen at this time.

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True Blood

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