Alcide and Sookie retire to the porch where apparently you can hear everything people say, down in the cubby, and Alcide tries to talk her out of hosting Eric Northman. Once again Sookie compares having Bachelor #2 in her house to Alcide putting up with crazy old Debbie Pelt -- "She's an addict and an attempted murderer and she lives in your house and I'm not judging you!" -- and they talk themselves out of the fight and into a great big old hug. A hug from Alcide must feel like being a lizard on the hottest boulder, digesting your food in complete comfort.

Jason kills Felton, finally, and then Crystal appears and that nutty song starts playing like whenever she's around. Because her context is radically different from his, or ours, she doesn't understand why Jason is not having any of her mess, and just repeats that whole thing about how they can be together now and they are Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy and now she is the queen of the panther people. From her perspective, things are going well, and I guess culturally she is also the mom of all the babies that may have resulted since the last episode? So that's nice for her. Jason, on the other hand, sees her more as the orchestrator of his systematic gang rape, as well as the biter and clawer of his torso, and has thus lost significant interest in their relationship. Nevertheless, she might be onto something with this:

"Bon Temps ain't your home no more. You're gonna be Panther Man and Ghost Daddy to our clan. Hotshot's the only place that'll take you in. I'll be waitin' for ya, Jason! Full moon!"

Portia Bellefleur takes Bill to meet her grandmama Caroline Bellefleur (Katherine Helmond!), and it's adorable. Andy goes tearing through the house, because he is a drug addict, and Caroline strongly dissuades him from drinking a Red Bull -- "It's vulgar" -- before the four of them sit down for tea. Andy cluelessly talks about a less-than-classy moment at work, and Bill steps in on his behalf once Caroline takes offense.