True Blood
I’m Alive & On Fire

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: B-
Panther No Panth, I'm Going Thwimming
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Eric's still crouching there in a pile of faerie when we return, having dispatched Claudine in a heap of light and weird goblin death faces. Sookie, aware of how faerie operate and their magical glowing fruit and grenades, tries to get him inside, but it quickly becomes apparent that Eric is drunk off his ass on faerie blood. He cronks on his face, thinks about eating Sookie for a sec, and then starts running around in that zooming way, pinching her ass, and giggling -- giggling -- until finally he's just gone. Does he care that the sun is coming up? He does not. Will it matter? Not at first.

Bill gives Pam a ton of shit about Eric's disappearance, and she lies about it nonstop, and eventually just tells him straight up that she has no reason to trust him: As near as she can figure, he would have won the Eric/Witch fight no matter what happened. I thought she was right about that, at first, because Bill does enjoy killing Eric sometimes, but no: If he's as worried about the witches as he says, then probably she's just being nuts. Which is apparently just how Pam is, now that Eric's gone. Probably anybody would be this nuts if they went from having 100% Eric to having no Eric at all. Sounds like it sucks.

And of course, being paranoid, she can't get Bill's help in reversing the spell, the actual problem, so it kind of makes sense that she's just acting insane all the time these days. She tosses him some shade about how much he enjoys his Kingly power on the way out, but I don't know. King seems like the only thing Bill's ever been good at. Plus, having ready live blood has made him much more attractive.

Over in Hotshot, things are getting even more complicated. Horny Patty from Hung is taking her turn with Jason, and when it's done she starts crying. He asks her why, given that he's the one getting raped, and she explains that in Hotshot, how it works is your brother/husband fucks you like a cat: "[He] bites the back of my neck and he holds me down till it's over. You're the best I ever had." Then, just in case the zoological, sexual and power issues here weren't already way too complicated for a lot of us to follow, apparently, she calls out "Next!"

Of course the next one is the little girl one that hangs out with Timbo, which scares Jason into screaming, and the old Luther guy starts yelling at him about "Ghost Daddy" this and "Breed!" that, and long story short the little kid threatens to cut off his dick unless he cooperates. Jason tries to explain how it actually should work, when you lose your virginity -- "Your first time, it should be special. With a boy you really like who brings you presents and candy" -- and flashes her some sweet smiles and the general Stackhouse Filibuster. I don't know, he's good with these idiots. Eventually she frees him, and he goes running off into the night.

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True Blood




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