True Blood
I'm Alive & On Fire

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B-
Panther No Panth, I'm Going Thwimming

Tommy reunites with his gross mother and it's all very sad and trashy, and they cry, and hug a lot. She says she broke up with Joe Lee, which is obviously a lie, and in turn he tells her about his battle for literacy. She's very proud of him, whatever else is going on, and they bond over how boring and shitty Sam is. I guess Tommy's plan might be to get his gypsy mom to kick in money for his Maxine scam? They don't really talk about it. They're too excited about eating pork and beans and licking paint chips or whatever.

Creepily, Sam shows up at Luna's house unannounced, and they have a discussion about how it's okay for her to appear in his place of business but not for him to come over without calling. Number one, they are still very much in love. Number two, she has a very cute daughter named Emma. Because Sam has no friends, he is very excited to make friends with Emma, and it's all very dorky and sinister and red-flaggy, but somehow Luna overlooks her instincts and invites the strange man inside to play Barbies with her daughter. Maybe Luna is Skinwalking in the form of a bad parent today.

While Jason continues to run away from panthers and eventually ends up in a tree with a pointed stick -- thanks, Jesus Boot Camp skills! -- Sookie tries to get Eric to lie down and get some rest before the Bleeds kick in. He acts all offended like she even needs to explain what the Bleeds are, and then begs her to stay with him because he's drunk and lonely and still pretty scared about having no memories.

Alcide and Sookie retire to the porch where apparently you can hear everything people say, down in the cubby, and Alcide tries to talk her out of hosting Eric Northman. Once again Sookie compares having Bachelor #2 in her house to Alcide putting up with crazy old Debbie Pelt -- "She's an addict and an attempted murderer and she lives in your house and I'm not judging you!" -- and they talk themselves out of the fight and into a great big old hug. A hug from Alcide must feel like being a lizard on the hottest boulder, digesting your food in complete comfort.

Jason kills Felton, finally, and then Crystal appears and that nutty song starts playing like whenever she's around. Because her context is radically different from his, or ours, she doesn't understand why Jason is not having any of her mess, and just repeats that whole thing about how they can be together now and they are Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy and now she is the queen of the panther people. From her perspective, things are going well, and I guess culturally she is also the mom of all the babies that may have resulted since the last episode? So that's nice for her. Jason, on the other hand, sees her more as the orchestrator of his systematic gang rape, as well as the biter and clawer of his torso, and has thus lost significant interest in their relationship. Nevertheless, she might be onto something with this:

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True Blood




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