True Blood
I'm Alive & On Fire

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B-
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Panther No Panth, I'm Going Thwimming

"Bon Temps ain't your home no more. You're gonna be Panther Man and Ghost Daddy to our clan. Hotshot's the only place that'll take you in. I'll be waitin' for ya, Jason! Full moon!"

Portia Bellefleur takes Bill to meet her grandmama Caroline Bellefleur (Katherine Helmond!), and it's adorable. Andy goes tearing through the house, because he is a drug addict, and Caroline strongly dissuades him from drinking a Red Bull -- "It's vulgar" -- before the four of them sit down for tea. Andy cluelessly talks about a less-than-classy moment at work, and Bill steps in on his behalf once Caroline takes offense.

Bill's old Southern manner and his way with old ladies comes to the fore, and Caroline immediately takes a shine to him, which increases Portia and Andy's enjoyment of the whole situation. Which is, of course, scary, because automatically if that many people in one room are happy on this show, something terrible is about to happen. Any other show, it would be them suddenly realizing that their entire family is descended from racists, but not here.

Sam continues his seduction-by-child scheme at Luna's, and they talk about whatever, how shifter kids and werewolf kids are always so fucked up, and Luna admits that her ex is a werewolf and a stalker-type, which is why she's so dicey about people coming over and boys surprising her at home. I can see this story being interesting, because doggy old Sam really does just want a family and somebody to protect, so you can see how this Just Add Water family would really do it for him.

Everybody hangs around in the magic shop, Buffy-style, looking for magic books that might help. While Marnie holds her hands over the books one by one to feel for energies, everybody else actually does worthwhile things like reading the tables of contents, because they understand how books work. Marnie finally gets bored and yells for her witch lady friend to consult the occult Dewey Decimal system, and then wouldn't you know it: A book comes flying off the shelf onto the floor containing just the spell they need: Mnemosyne, Styx vs. Lethe, the whole deal.

Debbie smells Sookie on Alcide because of their buddy hug, and is way too subtle for comfort finding out what that's about. Since she probably doesn't know about the faerie blood, the story does sound very unconvincing: Turns out Eric was running around in the sunlight today? You don't say. And you dropped everything to go sniff him down? Uh huh. And then handed out the hugs? Sounds kosher for sure: "We are living a life of rigorous honesty here," she says, which is TV-speak for My high-minded AA values are about to send me over the brink and into Crazytown if you disappoint me in any way.

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True Blood

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