So great! So crazy and chaotic! So funny and spooky! Let's see: Russell's reverse-execution of Guardian Roman opens up a power vacuum in the Authority which he -- along with Salome, who's obviously been a mole the entire time -- gratefully fills. After a quick speech about how Russell's okay now and Salome is a Fanguinista, there's a ceremony to down Lilith's Blood, after which the Authority and the Boys go into some kind of ecstasy trance and roam New Orleans eating entire karaoke bars...
At which point Lilith seemingly appears, reincarnated in the form of a naked bloody lady who makes weird noises, and drives them all even more insane. In fact, only cool-as-a-cucumber Eric (with a little help from Godric's ghost) seems capable of pulling himself together at all. But Bill? Leans into it with an adorable élan, even climbing onto Eric's back at one point for a little piggyback ride down the street. (Probably the best in an episode full of great moments.)
When Lettie Mae shows up to officially disown Tara, who is now a vampire stripper, she's thrown -- until a tearjerking show of support from Pam of all people helps her get herself back on track. Less stable, on the other hand, is Hoyt Fortenberry, who ends up joining the Obama guys after they rally up on hearing about Sam killing that gross Stake House guy.
Sam worries about Luna and Emma and being lynched, as per usual, but impresses Kenya (!) with his doggie shifter senses and eventually tackles one of them before he can hurt Luna. Andy visits Bud Dearborn for some friendly advice, and is rudely rebuffed, while his girlfriend Holly helps Arlene put herself together.
After learning a bit more about the limits of her powers, and spending some time taking care of Luna just like Jason's been doting on her, Sookie takes most of the episode trying to decide if she should just use up all her faerie powers at once, for good, and eventually decides to try it. It's a little sad and a lot desperate, but that's our Sookie.
Terry, still MIA, eventually tries to kill himself after the ifrit shows up and merely taunts him, but then his storyline puts him to sleep so he's fine, and apparently headed back to Bon Temps for some proactive anti-ifrit research.
On the werewolf side of things, Martha finally catches JD recruiting for Russell's vampire-blood cult when he tries to feed Emma some V, and all but abjures him, while Alcide and that lady who's his Second (Rikki? Ugh, of course it is) get plenty sexy and try to figure out a way to take over the Pack.
Lafayette hits Mexico to find out what's going on with Jesus beyond the grave, and is kidnapped for a little ritual to put his brujo powers in Don Bartolo's gestating demon-baby, complete with lips sewn shut and hilarious eye-rolling, but at the last second the baby's hostess decides to stab Jesus's grandpa like a hundred million times. Not sure what she plans for Lafayette, but at least she cuts his lips back open.
Jason runs to Jessica for support during his parent-related freakout, but is repulsed by her vampire nature and they fight, and long story short, she attacks and feeds on him, so she shoots her in the head. She doesn't take it very well. It's actually kind of shocking, but only in the way that the entire episode was basically about the main characters fully going dark -- Bill giggling and eating people in a religious ecstasy, and all -- so when her only response is, basically, "Get out of my house, that was really rude just now when you shot me in the head," it counts as a win.
All in all, a delirious half-season episode and major twists in a lot of what's become the status quo, as well as some neat experimental scenes scattered throughout. And while I suppose if you told me the episode would contain a vampire tripping out on extra-vampirey V, I would have said that sounded great... But seeing them all do it at the same time? So very excellent.
Next week: A séance, presumably to ask the Iraqi lady to chill out, and everybody returns to Bon Temps. Except probably the New Authority -- now a hybrid of prisoners like the Boys and Nora, and leftovers like Steve Newlin -- under the control of Lilith, and Eric poised to piss on their good time.
Bill and Eric found Russell Edgington for the Authority, so the whole thing was kind of a scam, but then it turned out Salome was behind the whole thing, making it a double scam. Basically nobody in the Authority actually believed in the authority of the Authority except the Guardian, who is now jelly. Alcide and a girl named Rikki are challenging the latest version of Russell's Nazi Werewolf Cult, while Sam managed to kill a major player in the anti-shifter sniper group that now has custody of poor old dumb Hoyt. Lala's on the hunt to save Jesus from his grandfather, and Terry is still doing the dramatic equivalent of opening a Dairy Queen franchise in Odessa, TX. Meanwhile, Sookie just found out the fae have been keeping secrets about her parents' death, and commenced freaking out. "Freaking out, you say?" Yes, Sookie Stackhouse is freaking out. Weird, huh?
In a very cool scene that keeps switching from strobes to night-vision to random acts of violence, we see the fallout from Russell's counter-execution of old Roman, who finally made good on his casting by wearing a cute shirt. When all is said and done, Russell's been silvered again, Nora's still culting out in her cell, and Eric is hanging from a pillar for some reason that Bill finds worrisome, but Russell thinks is hilarious.
Bill: "Eric, what are you doing up there?"
Eric: "Just hanging out."
Russell: "Good one! Just hanging out, I like that."
Somehow the fae have subdued Sookie, and are now ... sigh ... "testing her luminescence."
Jason: "All right, listen. I ain't been to med school, or fairy school, or nothing. So if you can put it in terms a laid man can understand, I'd appreciate it."
You might, Stackhouse, but the rest of us are just mortified by this show sometimes.
Faery: "I'm going to send my light through her, and if the fae in her is strong, my light will pass through her body unhindered."
Jason: "Her head lit up real good, I thought."
Sookie: "Blerghy blee bloo bloo?"
Jason: "It's okay, Sook. They've just been testing your luminescence."
God bless you, Jason Stackhouse. What a wonderful fucking man he is. He spends more time on his spirit than anybody else, and he's already so much closer to fine...
Claude: "You're depleting, Sookie."
Sookie, verbatim: "Fuck you I'm 'depleting.'"