True Blood
In The Beginning

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
Picture Me & Then Start Watching

Wolves: "We say yes! Because we are the worst."

JD: "Emma honey, would you like some drugs?"
Emma: "No thanks. I'm a little girl, you see."

JD: "Don't you want to join a Nazi Death Cult with your granddaddy?"
Emma: "Compelling argument. Hand it over."

Martha: "Emma, do not take those drugs! You guys, you are really being gross today!"
Wolves: "Today?"
Martha: "JD, I'm disappointed in you a little bit. Now, I'm not going to abjure you or take any real steps to stop this, but I am going to hit the bricks with Emma as fast as my classy little werewolf feet can go."
JD: "I guess that makes sense."


Gets into a truck with the rest of the Obamas, off to do whatever stupid thing, while one of them -- name of Joe Bob -- heads off to murder Luna. Sam is in the hospital, being annoying and trying to stay past visiting hours like usual, but before the nurse can get the hose out he sniffs Joe Bob impersonating an orderly, and takes him out in the hallway.


On Bourbon Street there is a karaoke bar which has been rented out to a wedding party, and I believe it's the bride singing "You Light Up My Life" when Russell appears, takes over -- drama! -- and ruins her moment. I wish, in her confusion, she'd spent a couple more bars singing along with him, but it's pretty funny either way. Eventually he's recognized by the mother or father of the groom, and that's when it turns into a total massacre.

Bride: "Mommy!"
Russell: "No, sweetie. You should worry about you."

The Lilithority just goes nuts on their asses. Yes, including the Boys. Mainstream this! Next stop, everywhere! It's not quite "Time for the weather -- Tiffany?" but it's close. King Russell can kind of do no wrong, even when -- as it's starting to seem -- he doesn't really have a huge reason to be here.


Patrick: "Yep. Still in this storyline."
Terry: "Man, Jacob was really right about the act structure."
Ifrit: "Hey guys! I'm going to kill you!"
Guys: "Thank God. We've been waiting in this field forever!"
Ifrit: "Just kidding! I am here to intimidate and scare you even more, than laugh and go away again! I play with my food!"
Terry: "Welp. Guess I'm going to shoot myself in the head."

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True Blood




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