Over at Merlotte's, because Sam can't catch a fucking break -- although it's funny, because you're like, "Tara has it rough" until Jessica's onscreen and then you're like, "Well, Jessica has it rough" and by the end of every episode you're like, "These people" -- his horrible family shows up in their nicest Ed Hardy outfits and they're not even really trying to hide the fact that they want some of his money and generally to pester him and make themselves better by sucking the betterness out of him. He offers to sit them down with a free lunch, and they act like Charlie Bucket -- especially poor mom, of course, who is the most tragic piece of crap I've ever seen in my entire life -- and Tommy is a dick some more and Joe Lee is pathetic -- "Always dreamed of having my own chicken shack, I would call it Mickens' Chicken & Chitlins!" -- and I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.

Bud gets about three-quarters of the way through the report about the headless, handless man in the drainage pipe, but once Andy and Kenya start talking about how the body was drained and his tissues show "signs of tearing rather than cutting," and how that indicates to Andy that "our unsub just tore his head clean off," he is motherfucking done. He just up and quits, literally walking away, in the middle of the day.

"I've had it with this shit! Every time we clear one murder, two more spring up. It's like crabgrass. Forty-three years and what have I got to show for it? Gaps in my brain and polyps in my ass. I don't need this horseshit!" Poor dude. Man, what was it, like, three months ago tops he was Andy Griffith in this slow-moving southern town? And now he's been in an orgy cult and all manner of things. In a show like this, it's a bad idea to be the only actual representative of conventional authority. Frankly I'm proud he stuck around this long.

Alcide sits in Sookie's kitchen, while she flits around getting ready and promising to explain later why it looks like somebody shot a vampire and ate part of a werewolf in her home. They have a little moment that is sort of inconsequential in this episode but will become, I'm sure, a very big deal later, where they discuss her telepathy and how they can actually converse without talking, although she says it's weird to do that when they're alone. They discuss how just because she's sucked Eric's blood she's not His, and so he's not going to be looking after her if she has anything to say about it, but she'll accept a werewolf bodyguard because werewolves are a factor in this investigation she believes she's doing based on no information at all.